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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr302012

Basic Instructions

How to Literally Be the Worst Wreckerator:

 

1) Many names have unusual variations these days, so always remember to double check the spelling ahead of time.

 

"And her name is Starr with two 'r's."

[writing] "Star...with... two 'R's. Roger.

"No, Star."

"Lady, I got this."

 

2) A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes it only takes a few to get the general idea across.

 

"Hi. I'm looking for a Super Mario cake with a green pipe on it - you know, the thing with the plant coming out of it? I called it in a few days ago."

"Oh, right. Um..."

"Sorry, ma'am, but your cake is in another bakery."

 

3) Keep in mind that some grammatical words have more than one meaning.

For example, 'slash' can also mean 'kill', 'period' can mean 'length of time', and 'space' will always be a mystery.

"Not gonna lie; I would have slashed to go to a 'Pirate Space Palooza' when I was 12. Period."

 

4) Ordering a cake shouldn't be rocket surgery, so always strive to make the ordering process as easy as possible for your clients.

 

"Hi there, I'd like to order a cake? It's for my friend Vicki; she's turning thirty on Thursday."

"No problem! I'll just write, 'Vicki Thirty Thursday', then, shall I?"

"Um, no - just a simple 'Happy Thirtieth' will do, thanks."

"'Happy Birthday Thirty,' comin' right up!"

"No no, I want 'Happy Thirtieth,' and then her name on it."

"Yooooou betcha. 'Thirty Happy Vickies' it is!"

"Are you daft? Look, I just want 'Happy Thirtieth, Vicki' ok?"

"OH! Of course! Silly me. Now I understand."

"Finally! Thank you!"

"I just have one question."

"What?"

"Where does the 'Thursday' go?"

[silence]

"Vicki? You ok?"

 

 

Thanks to Nancy W., Michele S., Steph W., Nancy E., and my good friend Scott Meyer of the real Basic Instructions for the inspiration.

Sunday
Apr292012

Sunday Sweets: Modern Chic

When I got married way-back-when, wedding cakes were hardly the sleek, chic masterpieces they are today.  Back then, all the hip cakes featured things like light-up fountains, fake ivy, plastic staircases from tier to tier, and rampant tulle abuse.  Those were different times, kids.

Nowadays, couples have so many super stylish options to choose from, it's really quite unfair.

Submitted by Debra H. and made by Cakeaholic

 You don't know how good you have it, whippersnappers!

 

Sure, there are still plenty of wedding cakes with frills and fluff, but today we're taking a tour of sleek modern cakes that make my heart bleed with lust. Like so:

Sub'd by Jennie S., made by Some Crust Bakery

 Seriously, I call a wedding do-over. I would have loved this monochromatic cake at my wedding. So simple and striking!

 

 Or maybe this sophisticated number with its immaculate appliques:

By Art & Appetite

Not a pair of plastic doves in sight! Oh, how far we've come!

 

This couple's cake was inspired by the paintings of artist R.N. Allen, which played a significant part in their early courtship:

Sub'd by Rikki C., made by Gateaux Inc.

My wedding cake's most notable characteristic was a wad of fake purple flowers.  See?  So unfair.

 

But even wads of flowers can look amazing these days:

Sub'd by Kaitlin M via Beyond Beyond. Made by Janet Mohapi-Banks; photo by Sugar & Spice Photography.

...if it's gorgeous graduating layers of edible roses, that is.

 

And this single flower makes quite a statement, with its petals gently descending down the cake amid declarations of love written in French.

Sub'd by Marie-Eve P., made by Sugarplum Cake Shop

Le sigh!


Speaking of France, how great is this Parisian-themed beauty?

By Sucre Coeur

I love how it tells a story, and I'm amazed by the workmanship on the Eiffel Tower topper. (And not just because I've been playing a lot of Draw Something lately, and have learned that it's, like, REALLY HARD to draw a recognizable Eiffel Tower).

 

Here's a modern twist on the 'dandelion clocks' wallpaper designs of the '50s.

By Sweet Disposition Cakes

Good thing no one is making wedding cakes inspired by wallpaper designs of the '90s, because those would probably feature geese wearing bonnets and baskets of dried flowers.  That's what I seem to remember, anyway.

 

Of course, black and white is so classic I'm pretty sure this couple's grandkids will never look through their wedding album and snicker at the cake.

Sub'd by Brook S., made by The Yummy Cake Company

Not that I've ever done such a thing to my relatives, of course. Especially not certain relatives who used stalks of wheat as a cake topper. Bwa ha ha!

 Ahem. Sorry. That was a totally a made-up example. Any resemblance to real relative's wedding cakes, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 

I just love the colors on this next cake. It's so happy and fun and summery!

By Blissfully Sweet

It makes me want to get divorced so I can get married again! I'm sure I could maybe talk my husband into that plan ...

 

I could even offer up this cake as a compromise:

Sub'd by Jess W., made by Shockley's Sweet Shoppe

Half for the bride, half for the groom, and everybody wins!  Especially the wedding guests.

 

I love how the intricate design on this next cake wrap around the edges of these square tiers - no, wait ... are they hexagons?!  No way. That shape wasn't even invented back when I got married.

Sub'd by Kate K., made by Sweet & Saucy Shop

So unfair.

 

But I'm feeling really hip right about now, because I have succulents and gray chevron decor in my home, and this lovely would fit right in:

Sub'd by Kate K., made by Sweet & Saucy Shop

 Would it be weird to display a wedding cake year-round on my coffee table?
(You don't have to answer that.)

  

Hope you enjoyed today's Sweets, guys! And as always, feel free to send in your nominations (whether you made the cakes or not!) to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.