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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Sep092012

Sunday Sweets: Back To School

Alright class, settle down. 

Take your seat, sharpen those No. 2's and use your inside voice, because we're going back to school!

 

I hope you are prepared with all the necessary school supplies you'll need this year: 

paper, pencils, rulers, notebooks...

By The Icing on the Cake 

...and one ridiculously realistic looking chalkboard eraser made of fondant.  

All set?  Let's continue...

 

First, let's go over some classroom rules.

#1. I expect homework to be turned in promptly every morning.

By Cake Central member Kello

And sweet little notes like this will not earn you extra credit. 

(Just kidding, they totally will.)

 

Rule #2.  No ipods or cellphones will be tolerated in class.

By Erin Salerno

Keep them in your backpacks or I will have to confiscate them.  Also, do not bring makeup to school, or I will borrow, er, confiscate that as well.

 

Rule #3. Keeping pets in lockers is not allowed. 

By Charm City Cakes, photo found here

However, you are allowed to keep sexy shoes and a chandelier in your locker, should you so desire. Just know that I will think you both awesome and strange if you do.

 (Can we pause for a moment to appreciate the fact that this thing looks to be life-size and is MADE OUT OF CAKE?! I give it an A+!)  

 

 Moving on, I try not to assign seats unless absolutely necessary...

By It's All About the Cake

...or if I feel like using these cute little crayon name-tags. So what if you're in high school, Erica? The point is they're totes adorbs.

 

 And speaking of adorable, how cute is this rainbow spilling out of a paint-can cake?

By Arte de Ka

 

This is why we need arts in schools, people!

 

Which reminds me, there have been several budget cutbacks this year, so you are now required to provide your own art supplies.

By Minjinah Kuhinjica

(I love that the baker was committed to making such a uniform set of markers and pencils, whereas I would have probably taken the easy way out and just painted some stick candy.  Or the easier way out: real markers. Or the easiest way out: cookies.)

 

And students, it's a good idea to start preparing now for all those standardized tests, so make sure you have a top-of-the-line calculator.

By Creative Cakes by Julie

Or, at the very least, one that doesn't run on solar power.

(None of this looks like cake! NONE of it! Incredible.)

 

Well, that's the bell! 

So go line up at the (insanely cute VeggieTales) bus, and I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow!

Photo by Katie Whitcomb, but the baker isn't listed. Anyone know?

 

 

And don't forget, homework is due in the morning!  No excuses! I mean it!

Yep, I think this is going to be a great year.

 

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!

Friday
Sep072012

You Might Be A Wreckerator If...

Bakers, do you worry that you, too, might be a wreckerator?

Well, have no fear, pastry pros! There are plenty of warning signs to look for:

 

You Might Be A Wreckerator If....

- ...you consider "happy" a four-letter word.

 

- ...your cakes have more plastic on them than frosting.

 

- ...when you say, "I could just eat you up!" to a baby, you really mean it.

"It's...looking at me."
"Ugly little spud, isn't it?"
"I think it can hear you, Ray."

 

- ...cupcake cakes are your "specialty."

 

- ...your family crest says, "Spell check is for loosers."

 

- ...you like to watch CSI for the design inspiration.

 

 - ...you not only know what this is, you think it's well done:

 

- ...you're frequently asked what time the earthquake hit.

 

- ...you pride yourself on following customer requests to the letter:

 

And finally, you might be a wreckerator if...

...you have to ban photography in your bakery to stop your cakes from showing up on Cake Wrecks.

(I get the e-mails, folks; I know you're out there!)

 

Thanks to Kimber, Amy S., Lori M., Carrie M., Whitney, Mary Rose, Liz, Joshua S., Stephanie B., Lisa R., & JR, who think it'd make more sense to just hire better bakers, but that's why they're not "good" management material.

So what'd I miss, guys? Share your favorite "you might be a wreckerator if..." in the comments, and maybe I'll pick some to feature in a future post. You know, if they're funny. Or say nice things about me. I'm also not above bribery. And I like Whoopie Pies. (Mmmmm, whoooopie piiiiies...)