My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


[Note: Today's post contains a mildly bad word, because I put it in to make John laugh and then he said it was too funny to take out. Please parent accordingly.]

According to Urban Dictionary, a unicorn chaser is anything that "serves as a cleansing of the palate after a viewer has been subjected to a distasteful internet image or experience." If you've ever mistakenly clicked a link that showed you something really disgusting, like clown porn or Snooki's pregnancy pictures, then you know what I'm talking about.

You can even buy a Unicorn Chaser from ThinkGeek, although they don't mention what it tastes like. I'm guessing moonbeams and Oreo filling, because I can't imagine anything that tastes better than that, except maybe Oreo filling without the moonbeams. But it might taste like green Skittles, which would be disgusting, and then you'd need another chaser for your Unicorn chaser. Which would be both sad and kind of filling.

Look, my point is that these clouds look like shit:

No, wait. That wasn't my point at all.

My point is, Unicorn horns: Do they really need a point?

Or can they just be a giant lump like a cartoon head injury?
Or a large pile of bird doo-doo?


And do unicorns need heads, or can they just puke rainbows directly out of their necks?

Assuming they still have a horn jammed in there somewhere, I mean?


True Story: As I was typing "do unicorns need heads" just now, I could totally hear one of you saying, "Why would a unicorn need a bathroom at sea?" And I was all, "WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH THE QUESTION, IMAGINARY WISE-GUY READER." And then you were all, "Gee, sorry," and I was able to move on after eating a spoonful of Oreo filling for recovery purposes.


This unicorn-pooping-cupcakes cake is adorable, and I won't have any of you speaking a WORD against it.

Unless you want to comment on the wonky elongated nipple/leg. That I'd be ok with.


And finally, you know how when you visit a friend or relative, and you break something, and you just lay the broken bits down like they're not broken and hope nobody notices until a few days after you leave? No?

Ok, how about this:

You know how when you can't get a cake unicorn head to stand up on its own, so you just break it off and plop it back down on the body at an unnatural angle and pretend it's supposed to look like that?


[backing away slowly]


If anyone needs me, I'll just be over here eating Oreo fillings in the moonlight. Just as soon as I find a picture of the moon for my computer screen.


Hey Laura B., Andrea & Anne Marie, Joshanna R., Robin E., & Samantha S. - why the long face and creepy demon eyes?


Sunday Sweets: C'est Bon!

Bonjour, mon amis! Today's sweets are mostly inspired by Marie Antoinette, so you know what that means: Prepare your eyeballs for an over-the-top feast of excessiveness!

(And no, we won't be having any gruesome headless sweets commemorating Marie's rather gruesome end. Sheesh. Get your mind out of the guillotine.)

Yep, it's all decadence and girliness from here on out! And yay for that, because have I mentioned I've been helping my husband Matt at football camp all week? Yes, I've been sharing a house with 25 teenage boys for the last five days. I could use a little girliness up in here.


Fortunately this first beauty is a sight for my pink-deprived eyes:

By Cakes By Tess

And how appropriate that it includes a fabulous fondant fan, because I'm already feeling the need to fan myself!

[Swoon!] Such loveliness!


And here's the lady of the hour herself...

By CakeCentral member Lindasuus

...sweetly putting to shame every Barbie-torso-stuffed-in-a-cake ever made.


This one is so absolutely flawless and stunning, I'm convinced it doesn't really exist.

By Cake Coquette (More detail shots at the link)

We've all just collectively dreamed it or something. (We have excellent imaginary taste, you and I!)


Now here's a solution to that pesky problem of how to hide plastic cake pillars: Simply pipe a decorative cage of icing between the tiers for an elaborate camouflaging exoskeleton of awesomeness!

By Edible Art by Kate

Er, on second thought, you might want to just leave that to the pros.


I thought this Fabergé Egg cake was a winner on its own ... (Seriously, doesn't it look like a 1st place trophy to you? Or is that the football camp talking?)

...but then I scrolled down and realized the egg was only one quarter of the whole cake!

By Fire and Icing

Wow. The layers look like carved marble or porcelain, and I love those unique shapes, too. It's hard to believe the tiers wouldn't shatter when you went to cut a slice!


I think more food should be adorned with edible pink tassels, don't you?

By Deborah Hwang Cakes

I love this color scheme so much; fun, flirty, and fit for a queen. I bet ol' M.A. would lose her head over it!


Oooh, sorry Marie. Too soon?

Submitted by Anne Marie B. and made by Rosey Confectionary Sugar Art

Oh, don't stare at me with that doleful expression. Turn your attention instead to the amazing miniature dessert table in your boudoir. And hey, is that rug edible too? Incredible.


Here comes another amazing egg cake. I'm not really sure if fancy eggs are a Marie Antoinette thing, but they're both similarly lavish, so it works for me.

By Cakes Du Soleil

Just gorgeous. If I was serving this cake, I don't think I'd let them eat it, youknowwhatI'msayin?
(Like "Let them eat cake?" Marie's famous line? You know? Yes? Never mind.)


This is probably my favorite cake today:

Submitted by Devon C; by Cake Opera Co.

I thought it was Marie masquerading as a... um... masquerader, while holding a kangaroo for fun, but the website informs me that this is actually an 18th century French figurine, masked to conceal her illicit rendezvous, and juxtaposed by the fawn in her arms meant to represent birth and innocence.

So, I was close.


All of these fanciful confections make me want to host a Marie Antoinette party! How about you? Here's a checklist of everything we need:

By Cakes by Erin

Powdered wigs, macarons, frilly shoes, masks, more fancy eggs (I guess they really are a thing) tiny top hats, (pretty sure that's NOT a thing, but I'll go with it), and of course, cake!


Does this cake remind you of a hot-air balloon, too?

Submitted by Promise W. and made by Ganache Patisserie

And did you know that the first manned hot-air balloon ride took place in front of Marie Antoinette and the French court? And that it was "manned" by a sheep, a rooster, and a duck?

True story.

Here's another one: this cake is fantastic! Do you see the little movie-scene applique? Too cool.


I'm not sure how inspired by Marie Antoinette this final cake is, but it's incredible. At over three feet tall and almost two feet wide, I'm pretty sure this is the cake they serve you when you die and go to heaven:

By Sweet Thing Black Orchid

Oh, wait. Actually this is the signature cake for the Hilton Hotel in Silver Spring. Which, after a week at football camp, sounds enough like heaven to me.


Have a Sweet to submit? Then send it to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!