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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May112011

The Words Get in the Way

My friends, there's an epidemic sweeping our nation's bakeries that I think you should know about: SPATIAL AWARENESS DISORDER.

And believe me, it's SAD.

It starts innocently enough.

First you might notice a few odd gaps in their writing:


Then they run out of room:



Then they decide to just keep going:


The next thing you know, the bakery's sense of scale is swinging wildly from one extreme to another, ranging from the microscopic:


To the titanic:

"We had to bake three more cakes to fit it all in, but we made it!"

Occasionally a wreckerator might recognize that s/he's made a mistake:

Thereby making it worse.

In its final stages, the SAD affect can get doubly bizarre:


Bakers lose all sense of gravity, distance, and direction...


...and even more disturbing: appropriate word placement.

To this day, Nanny still can't look the mall Santa in the eye.

Thanks to Chris S., Rebecca M., Marina C., Rachel P., Cindy E., Marc, Trish M., & Alison for finally exposing the third rail of cake decorating.

Tuesday
May102011

What Would Your Mother Say?

Because brunch isn't over 'til Mom asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hideous butterfly cake: $9.99
Download of Christina Aguilera's single, "Beautiful": $1.29
Convincing mom you weren't being sarcastic: Dinner at Red Lobster and three years of guilt.


So which is it? "I'm Love you Mom," or "I'm Love Mom?"
DANGIT, MAN, WE NEED TO KNOW.


I like to think this one was inspired by Isaac Asimov:

The first law of moms: A mom may not injure her child or, through inaction, allow her child to come to harm. No matter how many times said child asks to go to the bathroom.

(And if you got that joke, you may now award yourself 15 geek points.)

Like they always say, "If Mather ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy."

Bringing all of her concentration and communication skills to bear, Jean was finally able to place the apostrophe correctly.

So, hey, that's something.

One thing you can always count on: moms will always love their kid's artwork. Always.

Ok, so maybe this one could use a few more plastic butterflies.

And finally, while I appreciate a good multi-use cake pan as much as the next dessert addict, I'm not sure it sends the most appropriate message on Mom's special day to give her the finger:

The string is to remind you of your proctologist's appointment later this week.

'Cuz, hey, even #1 Moms have to go #2!

Thanks to wreckporters Jody G., Meg G., Adriel H., Suzanna P., Laura H., & Anony M., who think that last cake is a real nail-biter.