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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec102010

Almost Famous

Time to play "Guess that Celeb!"


Ok, I know what you're thinking.

But hey, in some countries, Mr. Bean IS a celebrity.

(No, seriously, that's supposed to be Mr. Bean.)

Ok, try this one:

Give up?

Here, I'll give you a hint:

it's Zac Efron.

Allegedly.

How about a little rock royalty?

"He's got mud on his face! A big disgrace! Curling that ribbon all over the place."

Yes, Freddie Mercury: we will Wreck you.

I don't know about you guys, but I like my cakes to have a good head on their shoulders:


Next we'll have to work on having good shoulders under the head.

Oh, and hey, Mr. Tupac Sugar, keep ya head up!!

(Yeah, I admit it: I had to Wiki him to find that song title.)


Poor "Cyndi." Her colors may be true, but time after time those cheeky wreckerators just wanna have "fun." With quotation marks.

'Course, if you think it would be weird to eat a celebrity's effigy, imagine what a weird Situation it is for them:

I guess they ran out of orange icing.

Ok, guys, party time! Grab that Lady Gaga cake; it's time to "poke her face!"


I would complain about this looking nothing like her, but frankly I think it's worse when the cake is a dead ringer:

"And for dessert, allow me to introduce Ray Lewis!"

Creeepy. Also, I've heard of linebackers being built like refrigerators, but this is ridiculous.

If you really want to bring your "A" game, though, then this next cake will fit you to a "T":


I sympathize with the inferior who gets that earring slice.

Thanks Ruzaina, Jenn, Sarah B., Lanique C., Bridget S., Kristy I., James M., Caroline E., & Chrissy K.!

Thursday
Dec092010

Star Wars: The Next Generation

Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!

This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?

Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.

Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.

 

("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])

 

 

Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:

"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."

 

 

In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.

 

 

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:

 

 

Slimer.


Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.

 

 

But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.


Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:

 

 

Accio pixie power!!

 

But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.

 

Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke:

And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.

 

THE END

 

Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.

 


UPDATE from Jen:
Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!