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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug092012

Cut, Print, That's A Wrap!

If you thought yesterday's picture-of-a-cake-on-a-cake was bad, then wait'll you get a papery bite of these

These are printed leopard-print fingerprint cupcakes, which makes about as much sense as a leopard having fingerprints, leaving them on cupcakes, and someone wanting to eat them.

Also, printing your leopard-print fingerprints is for cheetahs. Just sayin'.

 

Maybe that's not wrecky enough for you, though.
Maybe this blog has left you cynical and jaded.
In which case, A) we should totally hang out, and B) how about this?

Take a moment. Take it allll in. 

("Why, Y? Why, why, why??")

 

You know, since edible images really are the cheaters' way out (yeah, I SAID IT) I don't think it's too much to ask for Lazy McLazersins to know which way is UP on their big ol' cheat sheet cakes:

"Oooh, what a feeling! When you're holding up the ceiling!"

 

And what about this one?

It's like the choose-your-own-adventure of cake decals!

 At first I thought the bakery was supposed to just circle the right numbers - or maybe you do that yourself with a Sharpie at home? - but the spacing and orientation is all wrong. Then I saw this one from another store, and I finally realized:  

...that sheet is meant to be cut up, so each number and phrase can be placed individually. But instead, bakeries are just cramming the entire master sheet on the cakes. 


The bakeries of America, everybody! Take a bow!

 

I'm not sure that's enough paper on our cakes, though. Really, bakers, don't you think you should be gift-wrapping the entire cake with the stuff?

Oh, you already are?

My bad.

 

Still, call me old-fashioned, but I think edible images should be used the way Wilton intended: to stick our friends' faces on male stripper torsos.

(If you want nightmares, just try to imagine it without the paper face.)

 Hey, at least the leopard print undies aren't printed!

 

Thanks to Jennifer T., Jessica C., Jennifer J., Heather D., Ashley M., Shelley T., & Carrie C. for reminding me of that time I got a paper cut on my tongue. Plus that other time I dreamed the gingerbread man from Shrek had abs and two nipple rings.

Wednesday
Aug082012

I Think I Get The Picture

"Hi, I'd like to order a monkey cake for my son, but I want to make sure there won't be any mix-ups like what happened last week."

"Oh? What happened last week?"

"Well, I brought in a reference for my nephew's monkey cake - a paper party plate -  and you guys just took a picture of it and glued the picture to the cake!"  

 "I see. And that's bad because....?"

"Because I just wanted the monkey! Not the paper plate!!"

"OH! Oh, yes! Of course. Sorry, I thought that was some kind of a pun."

[silence]

"So...look, this time, just to be extra clear, I brought you a picture of the actual cake I want you to make. Here:"

 

 

"So you want a cake that looks just like this?"

"That's right, a cake that looks JUST LIKE THAT."

[silence]

"I think we can do that."

"Good. Thank you. I'm so glad we got that cleared up."

 

****

 

 

 

Poor 2nd Devon. (Or is that 2rd Devon?) Although I guess it IS kind of fitting that the Devon copy gets a cake copy (complete with copied candles!). Hey, how much do you wanna bet his presents were all just pictures of toys? :D

 

Thanks for the monkey business,  Kee & Erin M.