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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun122012

Hey Dad, Guess What!

Here's a fun game for Father's Day: tell dad you got him a special cake that represents your relationship together. Make a big deal out of it - maybe work up a tear or two, if you can.

Then hand him this:

...and just look at him expectantly.

Remember, if you laugh, you'll totally ruin it.

 

I know you're scrolling down here looking for the answer, but in all honestly I have no idea what that is. Someone told me it's a hat, but I'm just not buying it.

Speaking of which, here's another "hat" I'm not buying:

You know, if it weren't for these punny sayings I wouldn't know what half the wrecks I see are supposed to be.

Not that this label is helping me any:

Um...

It looks like one of those awareness ribbons. Is there some new Handyman cause I should know about?

"Stop Corporate Tools. Support Your Local Handyman."

Dang it, now I kind of hope that's it.

Don't even tell me if I'm wrong; I need this to be a thing.

 

And now, some unfortunately fishy pole action:

Talk about the catch of the day!

No, on second thought, we'd better not.

("You should have seen it, guys! It was THIS BIG.")

 

I think I've featured this next cupcake cake [patooie!] design every year since Cake Wrecks began, and yet STILL the bakeries keep churning it out:

Seriously. Can you tell what this is? NO YOU CANNOT. Don't even pretend. If you can tell what this is, you're probably a witch. Or you weigh the same as a duck. Or you've been turned into a newt.

Harsh? Maybe a little. But you'll get better.

 

You don't mind a little course humor, do you?

Although, really, all I see is a sea-sick Fail Whale.

What, you don't see it?

[pointing] A WITCH!!

Ahem.

 

Father/child hand prints are SO last year. The newest thing?

Skeleton hand prints.

 

(Five bucks says you just counted those "fingers.")

(You did, didn't you?)

(A-HA!! I knew it.)

(Wait, what are you doing? Where are you taking me? WHY IS THIS DUCK HERE?!)

 

Ashley W., Leah Q., Jen W., Matt A., Kathy J., Jessica P., & Kat J., I'm NOT a witch. I'm not. And tell John to stay out of this discussion. THAT LEFTOVER BURRITO WAS FAIR GAME. Plus I was hungry.

Monday
Jun112012

Great Expectations

It's been a while since we compared the pictures in the order book to what you actually get from a bakery, so let's mosey on through those rose gardens of hope into the harsh, sweat-stained armpits of reality, shall we?

 

What you order:

What you get:

What, no toy? I'd say you got burned, Gabe, but it looks more like you got ketchup-smeared.

(Ketchupped?)

 

What you order:

What you get:

I've seen worse.

 

What you order:

What you get:

This is worse.

 

Ever wonder what happens when the cake you want requires airbrushing, and the bakery doesn't have an airbrush?

What you order:

What you get:

And they said you'd never use those finger-painting skills in "the real world." Ha! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on my paper cup Lima bean garden...

 

What you order:

What you get:

Let's just hope it's not contagious.

 

Thanks to Adina W., Koutny L., Desiree B., Jill W., & Shelly R. for helping inspire my new band name: El Festering Pustulés. It really POPS, don't you think?

(Fun fact: Shelly R. paid $80 for that Dora cake. Eighty. Dollars.)