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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug072012

FAB WRECKS!

After Friday's post the CW Facebook page was flooded with hilarious entries for the fabric wreck contest, along with plenty of comments pointing out, "That isn't professional," or "those really look like bed sheets."  (I want to believe those people were joking, I really do.)

Of course, the best part is how most of your entries still look better than Friday's wedding wreck. In fact, they're all SO good, it was almost impossible to narrow it down to even five winners - so in addition to those five, a few of you are also winning pin packs. Hope that's Ok.

So without further ado, here are a some of my favorites, with the winners sprinkled in:

 

Nakeisha E. writes, "....because dismembered torso cakes with edible undies are so two weeks ago."

And the paper beside it reads, "Its a Gril (in pink)."  Hee. This is John's favorite (shocking!), so Nakeisha, you win a book.

 

 Wendy A. writes,  "Greedo and 'Sandy' request your presence on the planet Alderaan to witness their union of love, in anticipation of the Empire legalizing multi-species marriage. Grand Moff Tarkin has given us his personal blessing."

["Sandy." *gigglesnort*]

 

Kelly P. wins a book for the best entry title:

"5 Shades of (Gandalf the) Grey"

 

 

Mellissa P.'s entry is made entirely of panties. 

But she assures me they're clean.

 

Sharyn (yes, THE Sharyn, commenters) says, "If they can wrap cakes in fabric, I can leave the sprinkles in the container."

Ha! Sharyn, I think at this point we owe you our first born child, but if you'd like anything else - book, pin pack, etc, - just let me know, k?


Betsy B. writes, "Looking for a calorie free way to celebrate that special occasion? Try a fabric cake! Our charming larger than life carrot being expertly jockeyed by a mohawk sporting baby is perfect for "Falker Satherhood", "welcome baby in pink" or any other occasion you wish to tell someone exactly how much you care!"


Annette L. titled her entry, "Under the Seams."

 

Spongebob and Ariel and dolphins, oh my! 

Annette, you win a book for the best themed "sheet cake." 

[rimshot!]

 

Robyn R.'s entry is "For the client who knows how to balance her overly feminine side with the Dark Side..."

 

And some more princess goodness from Betsy A.:

(I think I want to play dress-up over at your place, Betsy.)

 

Crystal A. wins a book for making me laugh the hardest with her entry:

 

She writes, "I used canvas so it would be more 'durable.' We all know what can happen when you're transporting a cake. And why cut the ribbon? Just wind it around and use the spool as a topper. I call it 'Shaken, Not Spooled.'"

 

Christine A. actually managed a fabric CCC [patooie!]:


She used felt circles over mashed potatoes, too, making her entry almost as tasty as a real cupcake cake. [smirk]

 

There is a Vader Carrot Jockey in Jennifer H.'s entry. See if you can spot it:

 

 

And then there were the folks who made shockingly pretty fabric cakes, to the point that now I want to see all of these made as actual cakes just so I can feature them as Sunday Sweets:

Melissa S. proved how well she knows me with this AMAZING steampunk Crow cake.

Melissa, you win a pin pack for your super steamy prowess.

 

 Nancy and Amarie outdid themselves with this lovely taupe and cream number:

And get this: it's four and a half feet tall! Good grief, that's only six inches shorter than I am!

 

And last but not least, Heidi M. made her fabric cake, "with scraps from my vintage-themed vow renewal ceremony, and inspired by one of my favorite pages of yours featuring Victorian cakes..."

 WOW. So gorgeous! Heidi, you win a book for the prettiest and frilliest "cake" entry.

 

These are only the tip of the towel-cake iceberg, though, so for more laughs and pretties alike head over to the Fabric Wreckage photo album.

(Also, Ticia B., & Ann Marie N., your daughters win pin packs for their entries, too.)

Winners, please e-mail your mailing address to comments [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com, and if you won a book, let me know if you'd like Cake Wrecks or Wreck the Halls. Also don't forget to tell me who to make the inscription out to!

 

And to everone else: thanks for playing along! I hope you had as much fun as I did!

Tuesday
Aug072012

Caaaakes in SPAAAACE!

Did you notice how I artfully blended "pigs in space" with a Portal 2 reference? Didya? That's professional level geekery right there. Do not try at home (without an audience).

 

I was up 'til 3AM yesterday morning watching the live feeds from NASA as the Curiosity rover touched down on Mars. As many have already pointed out, it's amazing to live in a time when we can get pictures from MARS in only 15 minutes, and live coverage of the Olympics from NBC in only 6 hours. [jazz hands] THE FUTURE!

 Anyway, needless to say the sight of all those brilliant people with brilliant hairdos (not joking, for once) celebrating with such joyous, nerdy abandon made me bawl like a baby. Which is to say in an ugly, squealish manner, and with just the right amount of pee leakage.

 To celebrate this momentous occasion (the Mars landing, not the pee leakage), I've invited the planet Mars 'round to comment:

 

Unfortunately, the planet had nothing to add other than a few highly questionable landing suggestions for Uranus. And boy is his face red.

 

But that's ok, because this AMAZING Mars Rover cake steals the show, anyway:

 

(Found here.)

 This was made back in 2009 in honor of the rover's 5th anniversary on Mars, and that's the baker, Chris Vasilakis, next to it. The Curiosity rover is much larger, of course, but as John says, "They both have six wheels and lots of technical junk on them," so that means they're practically twins

 Some details:

 "The body of the rover and the high gain antenna were all made of toffee buttercrunch cake with cinnamon buttercream between the layers.  The wheels and a few other parts were made of rice krispie treats.  Note the fondant birthday candles at the front in the instrument arm.  The red stuff at the bottom is all edible homemade mars…shmallow."

 

Judging by that pun, I'm pretty sure she and I would get along fabulously

 

And now, a cool story, bro:

 Laurie L., the wreckporter who sent in the rover cake, was actually the MC at the NASA event that hosted the now infamous phallic Space Shuttle wreck.

 You know, this one?

 

 She was there, you guys! An actual eye witness!

 Laurie writes,

 "Believe it or not, it was a celebration of the 25th anniversary of Sally Ride's flight as the first American Woman in Space, and Sally was there.  You can imagine how mortified I was when I arrived and saw the cake (which I had nothing to do with ordering…).  As if having a cake that said 'We've come along way' wasn't bad enough…! Anyway, as you can tell, I've still got a little PTSD going about the whole experience."

 Just remember, Laurie, there's healing through laughter. And lots and lots of dirty puns. (Is it wrong I'm still proud of that post?) (No, don't answer that; I know it is.)

 

 Now, stay tuned for the fabric wreck winning entries from Friday's contest! So much hilarity. And towels. And toys. And random household objects.