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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug032012

Gag Me & Lace Me

[So I was trying to make today's post title a "Cagney & Lacey" pun, but I think I just ended up attracting a whole new demographic to the CW readership. Er. Hi, guys! Welcome! Perhaps the last cake in this post might interest you?]

Loyal wrecky henchperson Amy O. ordered this lovely lace-covered cake from a reputable, "established" bakery for her wedding:

And believe it or not, that lace is actually edible. The ribbons, too. Yep, Ron Ben-Israel is JUST THAT GOOD.

I did a little digging, and the general consensus is that Ron may have used a product called Sugarveil, which pipes like icing but dries flexible, like a net. (John and I got to play with Sugarveil at a cake show once, and it's pretty surreal to pipe something you can then pick up and drape a moment later.)

Anyway, it took me about 10 minutes to figure out how you might go about recreating a similarly lacy look. But hey, I'm not a pro!

As it turns out, the "established" "pros" can figure it out in under 30 seconds:

...right after a quick trip to the fabric store.

 

Now, if you're wondering how much of what you're seeing is edible, the answer is: well, none of it.  

There could be towels stuffed in there for all we know. C'mon, at least the empty cardboard box had icing on it!

So to get to this cake, you'd first have to untie the ribbons and then peel off the lace from each tier - which were all buttercream? Is that right?

Except it looks like the lace goes under each layer, too, which would require you to disrobe the cake, as it were, from the top down as you serve each tier. Sweet Cagney, this cake's harder to undress than a gal in Victorian underwear*!

Ok, Amy, there's just one last thing I've GOT to know: what did you guys do for the cutting ceremony? Get a pair of scissors?

*I got my first Victorian corset last week, so that's the voice of experience talking. In a high-pitched, gasping-for-air whisper.


UPDATE: Inspired by today's post, John and I decided to do a little "decorating" of our own:

 I wish I could say we were bored and had nothing better to do at the time, but the truth is we stopped far more important things to do this. So in an attempt to justify the last giggle-filled half hour, let's have a contest: Make your own ridiculous fabric cake, post a photo of it on the Cake Wrecks' Facebook page, and I'll send my favorite(s) a free signed copy of Cake Wrecks. Aaaand...GO.

Thursday
Aug022012

OU812?

Here's a little wrecky behind-the-scenes trivia for you: while I see and tag every photo submission that's sent in each week, I don't always see the e-mails they come in with. That's because my friend and wrecky minion Julianne downloads and names all the files for me beforehand.

The upshot of this is that I see photos with no context, unless Julianne sees fit to squeeze a short explanation into the file name. ("JohnS.sneeezed-while-ordering.jpg") It also means if you ever see a file name like "DebbieR.blue-penguin-penis-poop.jpg, you can blame/thank Julianne.

Most wrecks are pretty self-explanatory, of course, but then there are the ones like this:

Did the baker lapse into a hypnotic trance there at the end? Was s/he receiving coded messages from ET? In short, WHAT...[Shatner flail]...the heck?

 

Ok, I've just looked up the e-mail, and now that I know the answer I can totally see it. Take a minute and see if you can puzzle it out, too. If not, I'll spell it out for you at the end. [hint]

 

Sometimes bakers are kind enough to give us visual clues:  

Hang on, I'm getting something here...[putting hand to forehead]...yep....yep... ok, I got it! It was supposed to say, "CAMERON ON SHIRT." No need to thank me; I'm here to help.

(So...I guess Cameron may need a New Jersey. EH? EH??)

 

'Course, sometimes puzzling out a confusing cake can lead to all the wrong places:

Um...

I bet that's the last time Trin asks for "Cake, Cake, Cake!" on her cake. 

o.0

 

Thanks to Christy J., Michelle R., & Wade C. for finishing what you started. [And to John for the Van Halen reference. Hee.]

 

(So, did you guess that Christy spelled out Corinne's name on the bakery order form? You know "2 N's, 1 R?" With a star/asterisk to draw attention to it? You DID? Good, good. I've trained you well.)