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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov232010

Totally Stuffed

Alright, turkeys, ya fat blobs of fowl: ASSUME THE POSITION!


No, no, you're all too stiff! Look alive, now - get those legs out! Spread eagle!

Good, now, hold it - hooold it...

Aaaaand...breathe.

Good work.

Well, except for you, Tom:


Seriously, Tom, we have got to work on those legs.

Ok, now that we're all warmed up, let's get right to today's topic: "purging" your "stuffing."

My friends, this is not the answer.

Neither are explosive clean-outs:


Look, we all know these displays are distasteful, so let's stop the cycle of shame!


And take heart from the example of our own Admiral Ackbar, a former stuffing purger, who went from this:


To this:

(He assures us it's an improvement.)

Thanks to Libbie M., Beth G., Stevi A., Maida S., Gina B., Corie I., & Rebecca, who are convinced the Ackbar turkey is a trap.

Monday
Nov222010

It's About Standards

Warning: Juvenile ding-a-ling humor ahead.

A long time ago, I (this is John, btw) brought a picture of the famous sexual harassment cake to our local bakery, to see if the Nice Older Ladies there would recreate it for a party.

The encounter went something like this:

Me: [handing over picture] "Hi there! I was wondering if you could make a cake like this for me."

Nice Older Lady: [looking at picture] "Uh..." [gasping in horror] [looking at me as though I was a dirty, demon-possessed pervert] "No."

Me: [embarrassed] "Oh, well, the cake is saying that kind of behavior is bad. See, that's what the big 'NO' sign means." [smiling innocently]

Nice Older Lady: [flagging down Nice Older Manager Lady]

Nice Older Manager Lady: [looking at picture] [calling security] [writing down my physical description in a big red book] [smiling thinly] "I'm sorry, sir. We don't put smut on cakes."

So, sure, that was embarrassing, and now I can't shop for croissants without being shadowed by Billy the stock boy, but the good news is that bakeries have a line, and one that will not be crossed. Which is a relief, because otherwise these cakes might have had me worried.

Bazinga.


Fortunately there's nothing suggestive about balls or bases or long wooden...

Oh.

Wait.


It's a basketball court.

Riiiiiight.



Oh what a tangled web we weave,

When first we...

Spidey! Stop that!


Didn't your parents ever tell you you'll go blind?


Now this is some crotch rocket:

Looks like it'll be flying under a full moon, too. [bah dum cha!]

Thanks Elisabeth M., Anony M., Laura E., Josef V., & Bethany P. Oh, and hey, could you pick me up some croissants?