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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan292009

Well, the word "holy" DID come to mind...

Ok, sure: this first communion cake is atrocious. (Is the dove molting? And why are there more choking hazards on this - something a child is supposed to eat - than in your average Lego set?)

Still, you have to admire the wreckerator's tenacity in scrawling the inscription right over the plastic flotsam. That, my friends, is commitment! No namby-pamby dashes, squished text, or downward spirals here, no sir! This baker does not deviate, does not falter! S/he trudges onward even in the face of crippling ridicule, turning a deaf ear to nay-sayers, a blind eye to the warning signs of impending disaster, a numb hand to the piping bag, a stuffed-up nose to the smell of burning batter, and an insensate tongue to the bitter dregs of defeat!!

[sits back down]

Ok, so maybe I was reaching a little with that metaphor. I thought I was doing well until the "burning batter" bit, though. [taps teeth with pen] Huh.

Still, I think we can all learn something here. Something about perseverance, something about throwing caution to the wind, something about...oh, I dunno... picking the cake up more than 30 minutes before the party starts? [nodding] Yeah, that, too.

Note: Since I get asked a lot, many of you will no doubt be relieved to learn that Wreckporter Holly later received a full refund. You'll remember that more-than-30-minutes-beforehand thing next time, right, Holly? :)

Wednesday
Jan282009

You Say "Redneck" Like it's a Bad Thing

I would like to state for the record that I grew up around a bunch of rednecks, and I have nothing but affection for that Nascar-loving, deer-hunting, Coors-ball-cap-wearing crowd. That said, I'm pretty sure they should never be allowed to plan their own weddings.

Exhibit A:


I have no words.

Exhibit B:

I have words, but none that can be repeated in polite company. Egads, man, the hoof! I don't even want to know what that is inside it - just tell me it's not the cake server, please. [shudder]

Exhibit C:

"We are gathered here today to join this man, this woman, and this truck in holy matrimony..."

Exhibit D:


For a "shotgun wedding" perhaps? (Ba-dum-bump!)

And finally, Exhibit E:

Hey, look, an actual bride and groom topper - no deer heads! Oh, but there IS a deer...and the bride's toting a shotgun...and I'm suddenly in the mood for fruit roll-ups. Huh.

I'm actually a bit disappointed that I couldn't find a Nascar-themed wedding cake. Anyone have one to send me? C'mon: it'll be therapeutic!

Thanks to Chris M., Melody H., Jacy D., and both Anony M.s for their expert Wreckporting!