My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Guess That Cake

It's time again for your favorite Wreckie game-show: "GUESS... THAT... CAKE!"

[cue applause]

Welcome to Guess That Cake, where your most delicious desserts are decorated and designed, deconstructed and defined. I'm your host, Kay Krex. Let's start the show!

[cue applause]

Now folks, if you're just tuning in, you're just in time for the rules. We'll show you a cake that was prepared by professional bakers at an actual cake store. All you have to do is GUESS... THAT... CAKE!!

Here we go. Let's start off easy with a cake sent all the way across the interwebs from Bridget H.:

Is birthday boy Shaun a fan of:

A) The Fireys from Labyrinth (attacking a B for Bowie, of course)
B) Colorful Rorschach inkblot tests
C) Budweiser

And the answer goes to....

C. Budweiser! Gosh, it seems so obvious now, doesn't it? I was sure it was a trick question. I mean, who'da thunk those little firey heads weren't trying to eat that letter "B"?

The stakes are raised on this second cake, a CCC, sent in from Jenny H. Let's take a look:


Is Jenny's cake supposed to be:


A) A horseshoe commemorating the Kentucky Derby
B) California holding a sledgehammer
C) The Virginia Tech logo


Drumroll please.....

Ooooh, so sorry to the contestants that did not choose "C." We realize it was the least obvious choice, as that cake absolutely does not resemble the Virginia Tech logo, especially considering the missing parts of the letter "V" and the general lack of enthusiasm put into the "go team."

Moving on to our final round where the points that we've neglected to mention until now are DOUBLED, let's take a look at this masterpiece sent in by Jasmine:


Can you tell us if that little guy on the bottom is supposed to be:

A) A broken vase
B) A bullhorn with a stick through its eye
C) A fish with legs wearing sunglasses and a beret and carrying a paintbrush

Survey says...

Eeeeesh- tough one. Tough one. I'm sure most of you were so distracted by the haphazard confetti sprinkles and day-glo lettering that you missed this little camp logo altogether. Spitting image, really. What a shame.


Better luck to you cake-lovers and wrecktators out there on the next episode of "GUESS... THAT... CAKE!" G'night, everyone!

[cue applause]
{off air}

- Related wreckage:



The Cake Wrecks Correlation

As part of our on-going research into what makes things funny (and because it was a slow Friday night), John and I recently decided to test the effects of alcohol on humor writing. To save both time and Arbor Mist, I was elected test subject. (Even the fumes get me tipsy. It's pathetic, really.) John then showed me Wrecks, took notes, and laughed at me. A lot.

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Here are the "official" results:

After five sips:

Subject response: "Talk about your seedy humor: I've heard of calling someone a melon-head before, but this is ridiculous!" [attempts to high-five official note-taker] "Booyah!"

After approx. 1/2 glass:

Subject response: [apparently attempting to impersonate Bill Cosby] "FI-BRRR!! FI-BRRR!! AHAHAHAHA-HAAA!"

After one glass:

Subject response: [singing] "PANT-ies, PANT-ies, tralala-LAAA. Wesh shoulda had PANTIES at our engager-mental party." [giggling] "Yeah." [Silence. Then...] "Why don't shou luff me? Thish ish MY job! Zshoo don't care about me!"

After two glasses:

Subject response: *HURK* *HUURK* *BLAAGAHGAHGAHGAH!!!!*

After 2 glasses and 10 minutes:


(Official Note-Taker's Note: At this point the test was concluded.)

So, our conclusion? We desperately need some better wine. And possibly - although this needs further testing to be absolutely sure - some kind of a social life.

You're welcome, scientific community.

Rebecca M., Michael Z., Anony M., & Heather G., I would guess that last thing isn't actually a cake - but it is most certainly a Wreck. Also, are any of you free this weekend?

- Related Wreckage: Wacked Out Wrecks