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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr272011

Annual Wreckage Review

"Good season, bakers, good season! A lot of you showed up, some of you made some stuff, a few gave roughly 65%, and I'd say this Easter was our 'best' yet!

"Now, let's review how our new designs performed this year. Elmer? I believe you have some numbers for us?"

"Yes, thank you, sir. [starting slide show] First up, our 'Clown Face Bunny' here made a huge impression in the 3-7 age bracket...


"...but, unfortunately, most were screaming too incoherently for us to make much of their feedback.

"Next up, 'Dalek Face' seemed to garner a lot of attention from college students in particular:


"Plus at least one customer was spotted chasing his girlfriend yelling, 'EXTERMINATE,' so I'd call that a 'win.'"

"'Bunny brick,' however, went over like a ton of itself:

"I think next year we should add a tail."

"Our cross-over design for Passover, 'Rabbi Rabbit', also had mixed reviews:

"Something about an explosive head injury? I don't know. You guys see anything wrong here?"


"'Well, moving on, 'Ninja Bunny' made a killing, in a manner of speaking:

"So I'd say we made a good call on the throwing carrots."

"'Baby Bunny Cake' was also a hit...


"...er, with cats.
"Yes, I know it's strange, but we had several customers wander over from the pet aisle, and they told us their cats loved the feather accents. So that's a keeper right there."


"'Puddle o' Poo,' however, actually got a few complaints:

"It turns out our marketing team was wrong: people only like chocolate icing poo when it's featured on Cake Wrecks. To quote our Marketing lead Stacey, 'Our bad.'"


"And finally, our Simpsons tribute lamb may need to get chopped next year. (Heh. Aheh. Little joke for you there.)

"Ahem. Yes, it turns out, not everyone loves Moe the bartender. So next year Marketing suggests we try a Maggie model, with a sugar pacifier."

"It's gonna be awesome."

Thanks to our Wreckporter Review Committee Kay S., Meghann M, Leanne P., Beth P., Alicia F., Katie G., Caitlin T., & Julia S. See y'all next year!

Tuesday
Apr262011

Paper View

Edible paper. Edible paper. EDIBLE PAPER!! Amaze your friends! Astound your coworkers! All you need is...EDIBLE PAPER!!!


(The following message is brought to you by the National Board of Edible Paper and Non-edible Babies.)

Hey there, baker! Lonely sheet cakes got ya down?

 

 

[defeated trombone slide]

No worries. Now you can turn this:

"Boo! That's so BORING and PHOTOLESS!"

...Into THIS!

"Wow! Is that paper? That you can EAT??"

Yes, it is! And now your bakery can make literally trillions of dollars with a little help from this fabulous product, known as...

EDIBLE PAPER!!!

With Edible Paper (and our conveniently included vehicle clip-art starter pack), you can...

 

 

Cut costs!

---What better, more cost effective way is there to celebrate a bride-to-be's journey than with...

 

 

...recreational vehicle clip-art?

With a few roses and a stick figure bride, this shower cake is ready to roll!

 

 

Save time!

---Why waste precious hours fumbling with piping bags when it takes only a second to hit "Print?"


And it's still just as meaningful.

 

It's EASY!

---No artistic talent? No problem!! Hearts are difficult to draw, but an edible hearse is just a keystroke away!

 

Death becomes it!

 

Yes, with Edible Paper, you are only limited by your Imagination*!

 

*Imagination clip-art packs sold separately.
Now, don't put away that "Eternal Rest" photo pack just yet; when a customer asks you to "just make it nice ," it's really your time to shine!
You can rest in peace knowing your customer is happy.

 

 

Do you love fried chicken? I mean, LOVE love it? But not so much that you want to eat anything that actually tastes like fried chicken? Then you're in luck!

It's finger lickin' great!

 

Edible Paper!
EDIBLE PAPER!
EDIBLE PAPER!!!

Edible Paper. Transforming your baby shower cakes from this...

Into this:

You're welcome.

 


Thanks to Susan H., Liana E., Nathan S., Dana H., Taryn, Kerry M., Adam D., Wendy M., Mollie B., who think these cakes look pretty tearable.