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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar192009

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa!

Ho ho, heehee, haha, they're coming to take me away!!!

I'm not sure what these things are supposed to be, but they've been popping up at bakeries all across the U.S. lately. Could the carrot jockeys have some competition on their hands?

"Soon, your race of sugar-craving giant sloths shall be OURS. Thaaat's right, we're cute, aren't we? You want to take us hooome, and show us all your financial staaaatements."

These guys are going less for "cute" and more for "mortal terror":

"The claaaaaw! The claw will choose who will go, who will stay, and who will have his or her face rearranged."

Look, they even have a naval division:

"We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
You won't want to finish,
'Cuz we taste like spinach,
We're Popped-Eyes the sailor blobs!"

Nancy H., Bridget D., Siiri L. & Heather K., I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Really.

(Now we get to find out which of you were around in the 60s. Let the age-determining comments begin!)

UPDATE: The general consensus seems to be these are "frog cakes". More info here.

UPDATE UPDATE: No, they're not supposed to be Bob from Monsters vs Aliens. What, you think I would miss a kids' movie tie-in? Give me a little credit, eh?

Wednesday
Mar182009

Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops

I make no bones about my bid for Wrecky World Domination, and I think you'll all agree that Cake Wrecks is an excellent model for government. [insert joke about Wrecky administrations here]

Anyway, I can tell my evil plan is working, in part, by the number of Carrot Jockeys successfully infiltrating society at large. Here are just a few of the NMBCJ sitings I've had reported:

Here they are flying/gallivanting in classic carrot formation through Mallory H.'s home...

Spreading spelling errors in Ann S.'s...

Terrorizing Jennifer and Krista in their "stealth CCC" mode...

Circling up for a little Jockey powwow over at Maggie H.'s...


And even easing the pain of "workforce reduction" over at Ryan J.'s.*

You know how ELSE I can tell my bid for Wrecky World Domination is working? By winning all three Bloggies Cake Wrecks was nominated for at the Ninth Annual Weblog Awards on Monday. That's right, my loyal wrecky henchpersons, thanks to you Cake Wrecks is "officially" the Best New Blog, Best Writing of a Blog, and Best Food Blog** of 2008. Woot woot!

Next stop: Disneyland. That's right; I shall not rest until I've ridden the Matterhorn enough times to make myself physically ill. And that, my friends, is a campaign promise. [nodding seriously]

*In case you're wondering what that is, Ryan explains "We had trouble finding anything like the babies from the infamous cake screw-up, so we used a rubber fetus we had laying around. Don't ask me why we have a rubber fetus hanging around." Roger on that, Ryan; I won't ask.

** As sweet as victory is, the fact is I've never considered CW a "Food Blog", and feel undeserving each time an award site places it in that category. So allow me to to give a shout-out to the other, more appropriate, nominees in that category. If you like to cook, or even to just read about people who do, check them out:

Chocolate & Zucchini

The Pioneer Woman Cooks (Also the winner of Best Blog of the Year. If you haven't already, go see what all the buzz is about. )

Smitten Kitchen

Bakerella (The one, the only.)