My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Five Awesome Things

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]

Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"


Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.


*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!

Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.



I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.

Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.

Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.




[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)


The Teacher Tearjerker

Educators of the world, get those hankies out.

Because this...[dramatic pause] your story.

Yes, every year you need some good "louck" as you embark upon that harrowing journey:

Back "toschol."

Here you will continue on for an indeterminate amount of time.

"4" more...years?
Sure, let's go with that.

During this time, you will expand your students' cultural horizons:

Perhaps by "celabrating" the mythical continent of "Afraicia."

You will "suport" your prep times:

(While grading the staff room cakes in your spare time.)

And, of course, you will strive to instill a love of reading into your young charges:

Not to mention their "comunity."

Until one day, the unthinkably terrifying will occur.

Your students will turn 18.

Yes, you've ushered another generation into adulthood!

"Yu dib it!!!"

And your reward?

(One baker, two cakes, two different mistakes.)

Now you can join with your students' families in saying...

"Happy Gracturations!"


And if you're really lucky, one day a former student just might come back to visit, bearing cake:

A cake of "apprication."

Aaron R., Marissa S., Alisha G., Kelly D., Amy S., Kim B., Rebecca N., Kasey, Stacey W., Anony M., Rebekah, & Amy S., have you thanked a teacher today?

- Related Wreckage: Cake Wrecks, World Educator