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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr062012

An Eccentric Performance

So. Ye seek humor and frivolity. Follow.

[swinging about dramatically]

BUT!!

Follow ONLY if ye be readers of valor, for the path to LOLZ is guarded by creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has laughed at them... and lived!

"'Ewwo, guv'na."

 

BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about their lair!

Or "carrot pops." Whatever.

 

So, brave readers, if ye do doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further, for DEATH awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

Well, teeth, anyway.

 

You dare laugh? Foolish mortals, this is no ordinary rabbit!

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

 

This one's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!

And also on sale! HEYO!

 

And that one will snap your spine as soon as look at you!

Not to mention get you really sticky.

 

I'm warning you! They've got huge, sharp-- eh-- they can leap about-- um -- just look at those eyebrows!

"Hand over the Trix and nobody gets hurt."

 

Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, is it? Piece of cake, eh? Well, don't say I didn't warn you!

"Who wants to nibble our pastrami ears?!"

*****

RUN AWAY!

 

Hey Eric C., Jennifer D., Katie C., Mackenzie S., Lisa B., Byron K., Renee M., & Maureen P., somebody fetch the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, stat.

Thursday
Apr052012

Pan-Wow

[adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]

Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.

A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.

You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.

 

Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?

Pan-Wow.

 

Oh, no. Is that a ghost?

No. It's a Pan-Wow.

 

Going tailgating at the football game?

Pan-Wow.

 

When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

There's three different colors.  You could use four colors.  Or five.  It doesn't matter.  Pan-Wow.

 

Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:

Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.

 

What's that? You're graduating?

Now it's a hat. Amazing.

 

Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.

It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.

 

Is that the Easter Bunny?

Pan-Wow.

And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.

 

Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.

 

*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.