My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Saint Patrick Would Be SHOCKED

Shocked, I say!

I mean, as I understand it ol' Patrick was a pretty conservative guy. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the whole "Kiss me, I'm Irish" thing was not his idea.

Apparently they needed all of the capital "I"s for "IRISH."
(And as we all know, the Irish hate apostrophes.)

Still, someone needs to tell these cookie cakes to stop giving us lip. Mostly because their lips are deeply, deeply disturbing:

First tell me what "Irist" means, and then we'll discuss which display of affection I'm comfortable giving you. Mmkay?

Given all the suggestive suggestions being suggested, you might think Wreckerators would be more mindful of their capital "L"s, too:

Granted, that yellow magnet does "suck," but blaming it on the Irish is a pretty polarizing move.

Let's end on a more positive note, though. After all, it is Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm sure he would appreciate a more appropriate expression of celebration.

Aw, that's doing Ireland proud, right there.

Btw, when did Peppermint Patties get canonized? (Not that I'm complaining, mind you; they are quite heavenly.)

Ok, forget appropriate expressions of celebration. Let's go out with one final insult to dear St. Pat:

[brightly] Today's word, boys and girls, is "prat." Puh-rat. Prat.

It has some really fun meanings, too, kids. Why don't you go look it up in the dictionary with your parents?

Terri J., Margaret C., Madeline, Chris H., Cathy W.,& Ruth S., since no one else is gonna say it, I guess I will: Happy St. Patricia's Day!

- Related Wreckage: Funny

Update: Apparently, St. Patrick was actually Welsh. Or was it English? Ohhh... and then he was kidnapped by Irish pirates. But he later returned to England to marry Buttercup after many madcap adventures with a giant, a Spaniard and an angry little man with a lisp. Everybody clear? Good, good...


Patty Cakes

Ah, the many faces of St. Patrick's Day...

Seamus' shame:

You know, bakers, if we don't stop glorifying smoking with all these sexy baked goods, the kids will never stop sneaking their pipe tobacco into school.

Wee Willy of the Explosive Facial Hair wishes you a St. Patty's Day:

Not a happy one, though. Wee Willy is too small-minded for that.

Next we have our regular guest star:

Well, howdy, Doody.

And finally, there's...uh...this guy:

My gosh, it's full of clovers!

Jen: Actually, those are shamrocks, not clovers. Didn't you read yesterday's post?

Oh, sorry, my bad.

Careful now, Jesse, Jennifer R., Shinpai, Caroline S., & Chris; I hear watching a Cloverfield can make you sick. Shamrock fields are fine, though.

- Related Wreckage: Today I am NOT Irish