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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar202009

Shirking my Shirtly Duties

I know, I know: it's been forever since I posted a new shirt design. And obviously you all are just wasting away from a lack of proper Wreckwear selection. Sorry. I've been writing Cake Wrecks the book, and with a mid-April deadline it's all I can do to keep the daily posts coming some days. (Excuses, excuses...)

Well anyway, here's a quickie for ya. After the surprising popularity of the Sailor Blobs yesterday, I whipped up this little number:

Which I think is pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself. It also looks great on a white t-shirt, which you can see here, or on yellow or lime*.

I posted the design here and not the shirt view because the text is hard to see clearly over on Zazzle. Check the store for other goodies, and let me know if you'd like to see something there that isn't.

And as always, if you have a Cake Wrecks shirt design you want me to feature, e-mail it to me! If I use it, I'll link to your store or site both on Zazzle and here on the blog.

Thanks, all! Wreck on!

*As with everything on Zazzle, you can change the shirt's color and style by clicking "select a different shirt style" in the upper right-hand corner of the product page.

Friday
Mar202009

First Impressions

My issues with baby shower cakes are well-documented. And while I don't plan to have kids myself, I know that the whole if/when/how many thing on the kid-front is a huge, life-changing decision.

So on behalf of myself and childless women everywhere, I'd just like to say the following.

Attention Baby Shower Cake Creators:
You're SO Not Helping.

Seriously, would YOU want to give birth after seeing this cake?


Helen S., I can't tell if that's mom's front or backside, but either way I think I'd be shoving the sucker back in.

Not that showing the (anatomically) correct egress is any better, though:


Egads! I've heard of childbirth making your legs feel all rubbery, Greg C., but this is just ridiculous. Plus, I thought that the First Censored Cake Wreck would dissuade this kind of thing. Well hellooo, backfire!

I mean it, ladies: stop with the fondant genitalia on shower cakes already! Yeesh, it's bad enough seeing it in all of your "Check Out this Hi-LAR-ious Wreck from Master Bakers!" e-mails. [shudder] Nightmares, folks: I have them*.

Now, if you really want to give me a little pick-me-up (IF ya know whadda mean) why not send over some Trekkie goodness of the Vulcan variety? Or heck, I'll even take McCoy - or Sheppard or McKay, while we're on the geek streak. Just make sure they're tastefully done. So, you know, in lots of chocolate. [eyebrow waggle]

*Speaking of which, if you're not subscribed to my Twitter feed you missed out on some ripe hilarity of the "Jen's-too-naive-to-know-what-this-naughty-word-means" yesterday. Check it out, if you dare....

UPDATE: Hey, commenters! If you're referencing my Twitter debacle, please don't use the "naughty" word, ok? A lot of kids read this site, and we don't need them Googling it. Thanks!