My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Happy Wending!

So Jen and I are in Texas, a state which apparently holds a deep and sordid hatred for me. See, I'm sick. Not dying-in-the-hospital sick but sick, nonetheless. And it's cold. And wet. And in the past week, we've moved ten thousand pounds of knick-knacks across Texas which, it turns out, takes approximately 7,000 hours to drive through, the whole time praying we don't plow into some random cow or windmill. Oh yeah... did I mention Jen's a bit grumpy?

So I'm doing today's wreck, and I'm pretty much just gonna rant. Let me set the stage:

Expensive wedding in the Philippines.
The finest catering.
The perfect beach setting.

And this:

I know, right? I feel the same way. But what I want to know is how hard is it, when you're on a freaking tropical island, to find fruit that isn't so close to being rotten that it makes your kids tipsy. And what's with the icing?!? I've iced a few cakes in my time and I've never seen anything like that. I take that back. Last week, my cat licked my shmeared bagel when I wasn't looking and it looked a lot like that. I mean seriously people!

*propping self up in hotel bed*

And another thing!


Nah... that's enough. Just one last thing: I've met a ton of Texans while I've been here and one thing is true of them all: they're all so stinkin' nice. What I want to know is how do you stay that way when your state is constantly trying to KILL YOU?!?!?!?!

(me sneezing)
(yet again)

Thanks to Erica.

Related Wreckage: Tour Wreck


Recycled Wrecks

Ever wonder what happens to the personalized cakes customers refuse to buy?

Why, they get "fixed" and set out for another unsuspecting schmo valued customer to purchase, of course!

Sometimes you can even spot these Wrecky rejects, if you look verrry closely and have a keen eye for detail:

Just think of the lucky eight-year-old who got this for his/her birthday:

"You got my name wrong?!?"

"No, of course not, Sweetie!
We just bought you a cake someone else didn't want."

There are a few accepted methods for recycling a Wreck. In addition to the "Scrape 'N Sell" we saw above, there's also "The Schmear":

"The Glob":

And, my personal favorite, "The Ice-Out":

Like Wite-Out - only way, way more obvious.

Jonathan Y., Leslie E., Erica H., & Jake S., how wrong is it that I'm thinking buttercream Wite-Out is a pretty good idea? 'Course, you think the office supplies go missing a lot NOW. Heh.

- Related Wreckage: Recipes for Wreckage