My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Rear View Wreckage

Loyal henchpersons, I won't lie to you: today's post scares the bejeepers out of me.

You see, if ever a Wreck was cursed on this blog, it is the Baby Butt Cake:

I first posted one waaaay back in the infant days of Wrecks, but I soon had to pull the photo when I learned the baker was not a pro. So, I replaced it with a different butt cake. This time the baker was a pro, but was also none too pleased at having her creation be the butt of my butt jokes. So, I pulled THAT photo. (To date, I've only had about 8 or 9 bakers ever ask me to remove a photo. Not a bad record, for all that.)

At that point I decided the post was cursed, and left it.

However, today, dear readers, I face my fears. You see, the butt cake phenomenon has been growing unchecked, and is now threatening to overrun the world's baby showers. My friends, we cannot let this happen. Even if the cakes are well-executed,* I ask you: where is the sense? Where is the "cute?"

[*Heh. "Well-executed." Heh.] the other half of this baby?

Aha! You see, most pro-butt bakers won't show you *this* angle.

Instead, they prefer to showcase their creations by the light of the full moon:

For many of these designs, the angle is such that it appears the baby is stuck head-down inside the cake - thereby answering the "where's the rest of him?" question, but raising several more of the "who buries a baby in a cake?" variety.

Other bakers unashamedly go with the Bisected Baby approach, figuring that a little fondant draping over that waist jutting off the side somehow makes the whole thing "work."

And since we're obviously not letting a trifling thing like anatomy get in the way, why NOT have Gumby knees?


This one almost looks like a head and hands popping up:

While this one makes me really....uncomfortable.

[looking left and right] Um...

Ok. Yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and say it:

The "Barely There Censor Bear" is really earning his money today.

And finally, let's end with something so hilarious that I have no choice but(t) to believe the baker is mocking the entire Baby Butt genre:

If you must have a butt cake, then this is the one to have.
(Always go for comedy over cute with body part cakes. It's safer that way.)

Thanks to Tina, Anony M., Carolina, Jamie, Marilyn W., Angie & Kim, Ashley D., Lisa E., & Jillayne, who are all bottom-feeders. In a good way. (Kind of.)


Reminders, Updates, & FAQs

Attention, Wreckies! A few quick reminders:

- John & I are coming to LA (ish), San Diego (ish), Tempe, and Salt Lake City in just over two weeks! Check this post for details and dates, and please RSVP if you'll be joining the party. There will be a cupcake contest, prizes, and yes, FREE CAKE.

- Father's Day is coming! Have you got your Falker Satherhood on? (It's like a word journey.) Also, Cake Wrecks the hardcover gift book is still a rock-bottom $5.20 on Amazon right now. Buy $25 worth, and you even get free shipping - so stock up for easy gift-giving. Do it. DO IT NOW!!

- As you tweeting twits already know, John and I will be attending Dragon*Con again this September. A few D*C FAQs:

* No, we won't have a booth at D*C; we'll just be regular paying geeks like the rest of you. However, if you have something you'd like signed, bring it along!

* How do you find us? Twitter.

* Yes, we'll be playing the Twitter game again this year: find me via my hints/"I'm right here" tweets, and win a prize. I'll also sign anything you like. (Within reason. Let's limit things to the northern cheeks, if you please.)

* The best part of D*C? The costumes, of course! (Ok, that's not really an FAQ, but I had to share.)

That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled evil henchperson duties.