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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct272011

Whirled Series

And now your Sports History Minute, brought to you by Cake Wrecks. Because they know soooo much about sports.


On this day in the year 1900, St. Louis chose a new name for its baseball team: the St. Louis Cardinals. This was a vast improvement over their last name, the St. Louis Perfectos, which I am totally not making up.

Little did the St. Louisianites know that "Cardinals" was nearly impossible for most bakers to spell.

Who ya gonna call?

Imperfecto!

(see what I did there?)

 

Also, it was soon discovered that their mascot, Fredbird the Cardinal (still not making this up), was nearly impossible to draw:

Although he does kind of look like a Fredbird.

(And that's a bird you cannot change!)

 

Skip forward 111 years to the day when, by a stroke of luck, squirrel-about-town Irving* happened to dash across the home plate during the pitch at a Cardinals game. When the Cardinals then won the game, it was decided that Irving should be their new, unofficial mascot!

Because that makes total sense.

*May not be his real name.

Everyone was thrilled, with the possible exception of Irving, who is a squirrel and therefore couldn't possibly give a rodent's posterior about the whole thing.

 

Most excited were the bakers, because now they could stop trying to draw cardinals!

And draw little red gumball machines on slightly demented "squirrels," instead!

 

They also shortened the impossible-to-spell "Cardinals" to "Cards," because "Cards" is much more squirrelly.

 

But most importantly, bakers were able to break out their favorite #2 tips and brown icing and finally squeeze out a mascot St. Louis could be proud of:

See? Totally killed it.

Plus, I think even Fredbird would agree that flaming/bloody tail is a vast "impoovment."

 

Thanks to Steve J., Diana W., Robin D., Hawaii B., M+G., and Hannah M. who tell me that's a cake only a Texas Ranger could love.

Wednesday
Oct262011

Author's Log 10242011

It's been one week since we left home on our five week voyage, and so far, morale remains high.

We experienced some troublesome maintenance issues our first two nights, first with malfunctioning sound dampeners next to the station's galley, and then with a poisoned air filter that left us with a nasty case of Betelguisian lung rot.

Or maybe that was an allergic reaction to the port's complimentary flip-flops.

Anyway, once we moved on to our next station the living quarters were up to optimal levels, and we were able to get some much needed rest.

Our first mission was to the Atlantans, a friendly people who presented us with bizarre tributes:

This one contained a yellow gelatinous substance marked "E. Spengler." We gave it a wide berth.

However, the local fare was undeniably delicious:

By Feast Catering

The natives themselves proved most agreeable under the placating effects of the baked goods, and fortunately our mission passed without incident.

From there we moved on to the region of Concord, home of excessively large shopping malls and confusing ground traffic. Here the tributes seemed to take an insidious turn:

Though thankfully the natives remained peaceful, no doubt due in large part to the addictive qualities of their peculiar edible totem:

By Emily & the BPA Club

In the region of Richmond, we discovered a new local custom:

 

Some of the natives dressed to match their edible gifts:

Right down to the fingernails!

It was unsettling, to be sure, but we put on a brave face and were careful to make no sudden movements.

Others there presented us with ghoulish visages, perhaps as some kind of colloquial good luck charm?

Certainly their tribute totem was terrifying enough to ward off any evil spirits:

By A Cake to Remember & Sugarbuzz Cakes

We did our best to show the proper respect, but despite our efforts the First Mate and I kept laughing. I blame the addictive nature of these insidious treats, but more "research" is needed.

 

In Baltimore we were given our most bizarre tribute yet:

By Charm City Cakes

An edible effigy of yours truly!

The individual tributes also flatly defied description:

Why is the deer so tiny?

Just...Why?

Here, at least, they were able to vent their cannibalistic hostilities on my effigy...

...and we were able to escape unscathed during the melee.

The First Mate and I are continuing on to our next stop today, and we can only hope that it, too, will prove to be a piece of cake.

Yates out.

 

You can see all of the photos from our various shows on the Cake Wrecks Facebook page.