My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Not Creepy If You're Married

John, sweetie, I just want you to know that I think you are all the way beautiful. Not just handsome, but smart, and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you...


And maybe we'd have a couple of chubby, freckle-faced kids:

And we'd laugh ALL DAY LONG.

...and go camping, play Yahtzee, and tell ghost stories by the fire.

And every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God... that I was the appropriate maturity level for you.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt.

I think you're very special.

And most of all, I wish you love, and I wish you contentment, and I wish you would put some pants on while I'm talking to you.

That's all.

Thanks to Kate B., Judi G., Camille B., Aria P., Reba S., Jennifer L., Adrienne, and Jamie B. for helping me get that out there. And to Jim Carrey for leading the way.


Are Anivery

13 years ago today, Jen and I got married. And, because we both forgot we're both above materialistic declarations of love, I've decided to express myself the best way I know how: with pictures of goofed-up cakes.

[Cuing sexy saxophone music]
[Lighting candles]
[Duck face]

Ohhhh, girl...
Girl, in case you didn't know, girl...

Today is our anivery. That's right: the day I gave all of me to all of you...

[Eyebrow waggle]


And I want you to know, girl, that you are my love, girl...

And today is our love day, uunnnnngggggg...


First, I'm gonna cover your pillow in beautiful flowers...


And then, I'm gonna feed you strawberries in the candlelight...

Mmmmmm... Ecstatic!

Because today, like no other day, is the day that is our day, today. Girl.

And when the time is right...

and the lights are low...

I'm gonna get real comfortable...

and read you this poem:

Aw, I'm just kidding, of course, girl.

You're only getting a picture of the cookie.


Thanks to Jan, Madeline S., Jennifer J., Andi F., Mackiesmama, and Stephanie S.

And Jen, for 13 amazing years.