My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Ad Men


Scene: Sterley-Crouper Advertising Agency; board room; 1961

Creative Director, Don Baker: "Alright, team. We have a meeting tomorrow with Happy Cakes, the nation's top confectionery company, and we need to win them over with the perfect slogan. First and foremost, get June in here to pour me some scotch."


Leggy Olstead: "Don, it's 9am."

Don: "Don't give me any lip, Leggy. Just show me what you have."

Leggy: [clears throat] "Well, Don, I thought it might be good to have a positive look on sweets."

Don: "It's a CAKE company, Leggy, not a cookie factory. And proofread your copy. We don't pay you to make a joke of this business. Did anyone bring any real talent to this meeting, or should we all just close up shop and head down to The Goodtime Gal for a drink?" [yelling into the hall] "June! Bourbon!"

Paul Krambel: "I wrote something, Don, and I think you'll be pleased with my attention to what Happy Cakes leaves out of their product."

Don: "Quit sucking up, Krambel, and just show me what you have."

Don: "Krambel, quit wasting my time. My secretary could have come up with something more creative. Speaking of my secretary... JUNE! VODKA TONIC!"

Leggy: "Don, perhaps you'll prefer a more abstract approach. Paul and I worked all night on this one."

Don: "Yeah Leggy, still a cookie."

Paul: "Don, I think what Leggy is trying to say..."

Don: "Listen. You're a creative team. It needs to be modern. Edgy. Like this slogan we wrote for Clydesdale Cigarettes last year."

Paul: "Yes, Don. That was genius. Very poignant. We have a few more ideas..."

Don: "Well, let's have it, already. And June, this glass isn't going to refill itself!"

Paul: "Consumers appreciate truth in advertising..."

Don: "Next."

Paul: "Eating a Happy Cake is like being in a fairytale..."

Don: "Next."

Leggy: "We were thinking if we rented bunny suits..."

Don: "NO. I've got it: We keep it short and sweet. Literally."

Paul: "It's brilliant, Don! Perfection at its best! You're a true master at advertising. Bravo! I love you."

Don: "Leggy, have the proofreader look this over. And have June order a case of scotch and a carton of Clydesdales for tomorrow's meeting with Happy Cakes. If you need me, I'll be at the bar."

David L., Jill G., Kristin and Christopher, Amanda J., Laux, Maria, Ed P., and Daphne, I'm going to need a new secretary. And someone to empty this ashtray. And get me a bottle of gin. Better make that two bottles of gin. And some scotch. ... And some vodka. ... I like to drink.


Jane Austen's Baby Shower Chronicles

"Thank you all so much for joining me on this joyful occasion, as we celebrate the impending birth of my first child. It gives me such pleasure to see your smiling faces on this wondrous, happy day. Indeed, I am all amazement!

"I understand that you all mistook the "BYOC" on your invitations to mean 'Bring Your Own Cake.' [giggle] No matter, though! If we have no chairs, then we'll simply stand!

"Now, pray, show me these glorious confections you've brought for our afternoon respite! Eleanor, dear, you first.

"Oh. Oh, my, Eleanor. Isn't this...lovely? I am...well...truly speechless!

"Lydia, what deliciousness have you prepared?

[blushing] "Good heavens! I...I thank you, for your kindness, Lydia. Truly. I'll just...put your cake over here. Out of the sun. Under this bonnet.

"Elizabeth, darling! What kindness have you done me, in preparing such a large platter?

"AAAEEEII!! [faints]

[coming to] "Oh, do forgive that unpardonable display of emotion, Elizabeth. I was simply overcome with unimaginable...that is to say,'s just that...

"Oh, c'mon, Liz. Really? I mean, really?

"Ahem. Do excuse me, please. I believe the heat must be addling my senses.

"Now, Lord Harrington, I understand that you have also prepared a dessert! I am honored beyond words that you would bestow such a kindness...

[crickets chirping]

"Are you frickin' kidding me?!?

"What is WRONG with all of you? I invite you to my estate, I let you stand on my lawn, I have my servants cook for you, and THIS is how you repay me?!? You're all JERKS, you know that? Abominable, improper, insensitive, butt-faced JERKS. And you smell. Yes, I'm looking at you, Elizabeth.

"Catherine, do I even want to know what monstrosity you've brought to ruin my party?

"Oh... [blinking]

"It's actually quite nice.

[flourishing serving knife] "Cake, anyone?"

To my dearest acquaintances, Lora, Angela W., Anony M., Kelly R., and Crystal B.: I should imagine that this year's Proper Ladies Society will be the most popular yet!