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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Sep232008

My Youngest Wreckporter

"Now let's kick it over to our newest Wrecks correspondent Violet, who is currently on location at her sister Ruby's third birthday party. Violet?"

"Jen, I'm sitting here in witness to the worst Wreck I've seen in my admittedly young life. Take a look at the disaster area left behind by what could only be called a Disney Princess Explosion.

"As you can see, there is airbrushing, hearts, garland, blobbular "rosebuds", and green leaves growing UP the "waterfall" - not to mention the fact that you have to clear off all the toys before you can even cut the thing! And don't get me started on those three '3' candles - I may only be 10 months old, but even I know that math doesn't add up."

"Wow, Violet, isn't that kind of harsh? I mean, the colors are pretty."

"Pretty? Pretty?!? Obviously you aren't seeing the matching Princess plates, napkins, cups, giftwrap... Do you see this hat I'm wearing, Jen?"


"I think it's Tinkerbell."

"No, it's a representation of the blatant over-commercialization that is running rampant in our society, that's what it is. Would you like to hear my dissertation on the breaking down of social conventions by the media barons?"

"Oh, look at the time! Sorry Violet, but we need to wrap this up."

"No problem; time for my nap anyway. Hey, Mom! Guess who needs a fresh diaper? Eh? Hey, what is that? Oh heck no, I am NOT wearing a Princess themed diaper! No, absolutely not! You're making a mockery of my beliefs, woman! Get that away from me!"

"That was Violet, my youngest Wreckporter, folks!"

Cassie F. (aka Mom), don't worry; she'll love that hat by the time she turns 3.

Monday
Sep222008

Why We Need More Male Cake Decorators


Apparently this is supposed to look like a baseball field. For those of you who don't see a problem with it, do like I did and go ask your husband. (Or if you're at work, that annoying guy a few cubicles over who starts every conversation with "Dude, did you see the game last night?".)

Of course, if baseball fields were laid out this way, I bet the sport would be a lot more interesting. You know, in a Funniest-Home-Videos kind of way.

Further evidence of female involvement: that lace doily under the cake. I'm pretty sure no guy would feel the urge to "pretty up" the cake board - or for that matter, add an airbrushed red stripe on the side. What's that for, anyway?

MaryAnn C., I would say this is a home run, but on this cake you just can't do that. (The home run, that is.)

NOTE: Yeah, yeah, I know not all women are clueless about sports, just like I know there are probably guys out there who wouldn't know a baseball field isn't laid out in a giant 'X'. I simply choose not to acknowledge those people.