Cake Wrecks

Guest Post For You!

john (the hubby of Jen) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 13:00:00 +0000

[fade to dream sequence]

"We all know the importance of a water filter. It is an important part of every household."

This cake is very ugly!

"There are many brands of water filters. Many are good brands."

This cake is not spelled right!

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat."

This cake is showing a dead clown!

Glorious Water Filters Of Joy Helped Me Lost Ten Pounds

"In conclusion, not all water filters are the same. Many water filters are different."

The guitar looks very much like a penis!

Your Penis Will Need Wheelbarrow: Discount Water Filters

Thanks to Amy B., Jennifer C., Viole, & Valerie F. for reminding me of all the times a news outlet asks to feature a CW slideshow - and then writes their own captions.

There's Your Sign

Jen — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:01:00 +0000

June is Do-It-Yourself Marketing Month, bakers, and you know what THAT means!

Yep: time to SAVE some MONEY!! Woot woot!

Don't have any actual cake for the window display? NO PROBLEM. Styrofoam works wonders - no frosting required!

Those crowds of customers will come stampeding in any minute!

Any minute.

Annnnnnny minute...

And for an arresting display inside your bakery, all you need is a mannequin head and a bag of laundry!

I have literally never wanted to purchase baked goods more.

Speaking of which, a good quality product practically sells itself, so be sure to fill your shelves with all your top sellers:

Kids just want the toys anyway, right?

If they complain, just throw in a tube of icing!

Say, did you know you can save a bundle by typing up your bakery's signage yourself? It's true! And no one will ever know the difference!

(I hear this place is squeaky clean.)

I'm partial to the Sahara, myself.

(And if you're wondering where the extra 'S' went ...

... There it is!)

Now, is it possible to make tiny mistakes when making your own signage? Sure. But I think you'll find that, in the long run, the benefits FAR outweigh the... er...

o.0

Never mind. You're on your own.

Thanks to April M., Denise, Sonya, Meg S., Diana S., Maggie C., Michelle, Nancy M., Brandy F., and Susan R. for the reminder that, sometimes, it pays to pay a real professional.

Sunday Sweets: Dad's Day

Lindsey — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:00:37 +0000

Dad, you work so hard the whole year through,

today, let's make it up to you!

Kick up your feet, turn off your phone,

(By Just a Bite by Vivi)

... and settle in upon your throne.

Here's the extra special kicker,

(By Melanie of Ph.D.-Serts Cakes)

... today you can control the clicker!

And I pinky-promise I'll keep quiet,

(Submitted by Ty L., made by Paul's Creative Cakes)

... if you, say, "forget" your diet.

So have a cold one, or two, or three!

(Sub'd by Jamie M., made by Rouvelee's Creations - and yes, it's ALL edible!)

Then pop in your favorite DVD,

(By Robin of Gateaux Inc)

Light up that fancy old cigar,

Pssst, mind if I borrow your car?

(By Avalon Cakes)

Just kidding! I mean, I washed your car!

I also organized your tools.

(By Elena Castro Alaya)

About that ...

uh, I hope we're cool.

So don't worry 'bout a single chore,

(By CakeFella)

Just tell me how to start the mower?

And while we're at it, tell me more

About your youth, and days of yore.

About that one amazing day:

(By Helen of cakejoy)

About the one that got away!

'Cuz Dad, I think you're super great.

Without you, life would be cut-rate.

I wish I could show my appreciation,

(By Charm City Cakes)

with a motorcycle, or a great vacation.

But I hope you'll like this shirt and tie,

(Sub'd by Christina W., made by Esperanza [no other info listed, pic found here.])

And know that you're my favorite guy.

So I guess that all there's left to say,

is have an awesome Father's Day!

Celebrating A Farther Day

Jen — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:00:36 +0000

[running in]

Quick! Farther's Day is coming! DO SOMETHING!!

"......."

DO SOMETHING ELSE!

[wide-eyed side stare]

Look, here's some random sports-related flotsam. Just try to tie it all together somehow.

PERF.

Oh, and be sure to spell it right: it's FARTHER'S day. See?

So not Fathder's Day:

FARTHER'S day:

K, now you try.

Nooo...

Getting warmer...

BINGO.

And now, BIG FINISH!

[crickets chirping]

BIGGER FINISH!!

"Super TAT?"

Ok, sure. Let's go with that.

Happy Farther's Day, everyone!

Thanks to Melissa W., Heather B., Karen M., Jacob M., Jack L., Laure T., Leslie P., Nikki M., Molli M., Sara H., & Angela P. for at least not mixing it up with "further"- because, seriously, that is the WORST.

What A Dad Wants

Jen — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 13:01:05 +0000

Every dad is different, of course, but as Father's Day draws near let's take a moment to consider a few things most dads do enjoy:

You know, like reading his kids an uplifting bedtime story:

And then tucking them into bed:

Maybe your dad is an animal lover:

Or just likes relaxing outdoors, watching the butterflies flit by...

Maybe he's the type to really throw himself into his work at the DC Cook Nuclear Power Plant:

Or he might prefer getting a little more down and dirty in his off time:

... on his dirt bike.

Whatever your own dad is like, though, I think we can agree that every dad lives for that one shining, special moment: the one that will change his life forever.

The moment HE gets to order the baby shower cake:

Thanks to Lindsey W., Gina C., Anna C., Lizz R., Elizabeth E., Rebecca, & Julie L. for getting all that off their chests.