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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Baby Shower (15)

Wednesday
Jun102015

Wreck-A-Bye Baby

Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?

Wonderful!

I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!

 

 

Hey, a lot of those letters are right.

 

 

You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.

Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.

 

This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:

After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh?
Am I right?

 

Well, my friends, I think I've made my point: baby shower cakes are getting better! And all because of me! ME, I SAY!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!

AHAHAHAAAHAA!!

BAHAHAHAA...

...huh?

AAAAAUUUGGHH!!

[blink blink]

Well.

Back to business as usual, then?

 

Thanks to Sose K., Krista M., Susan M., Bob S., & Carly A. for dashing my dreams. You cruel, cruel wreckporters, you.

*****

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Friday
May082015

Ode To Moms' Body of Work

WARNING: Today's cakes depict childbirth, and are therefore not appropriate for children. Enjoy the irony. (And I'm guessing your boss won't approve, either.)

***

Today, my dear minions, we look at the beauty of motherhood.

...in all its lumpy, oh-so-appetizing glory.

(Anyone else see a screaming face in there?)

 

Yes, moms, you are the oysters from which baby pearls spring.

You are the pod, full of anthropomorphic pea people.

You are the oven, stuffed with DANG GIRL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HANDS?!

Ahem. Sorry.

I of course meant "what's wrong with your glorious hands?"

 

Moms, we all know that giving birth is your single most crowning achievement - and I mean that in the most literal way possible.

So lets thank the anonymous submitter who made this photo collage for us. Just think: without the upper right angle there, we'd never have known this cake had an anus!

 

Moms assure me you forget all that pain, though, once they bring out your little bundle, all wrapped up:

Not like that.

NOT LIKE THAT!

Uh... You know, on second thought, let's get that plastic wrap back on.

 

So here's to you, moms, as you look forward to the day when all the sleepless nights and cleaning poop out of your hair will be worth it.

Because someday - maybe even one day soon! - your kids will realize everything you've done for them, and will want to express to you exactly how they feel.

And it will be glorious.

Happy Mother's Day, moms.

 

Thanks to Janie M., Hannah L., Anony M., Joshua T., & Candy D. for reminding us that Moomy knows best.

*****

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