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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Baby Shower (13)

Wednesday
Jan142015

I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate

I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my idea/fault. *I* didn't make it Cesarean Section Day, mmkay? And *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.

But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.

(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)

:head tilt:

Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.

 

In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!

And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?

 

I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:

Not ready. NOT READY.

 

Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:

Brb, still screaming.

 

But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.

STILL SCREAMING.

Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.

'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.

It's bad.

Real bad.

Why are you still scrolling?

Are you on a diet?

Out of birth control?

Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?

Well, ohh kaaaaay....

What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?

You sick, sick puppy, you.

SCREAMING FOREVER.

 

"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.

*****

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Monday
Sep012014

No Butts, No Cuts, NO BUTTS

(Warning: Mildly traumatizing cake ahead. Not safe for overly inquisitive children.)

 

For Labor Day I thought I'd continue one of my personal labors of love:

Convincing bakers to stop butting in on baby shower cakes.

 

 

Now, see, this next cake was fine. Why dump half a toddler on it?

 

'Cuz here's the thing, bakers: even when a butt cake is well executed, it still looks, well...

...executed.

 

But(t) no matter what I say, you guys just keep making them!

And if anything, the butts are getting MORE disturbing.

o.0

 

WHOOPS.

Not a butt. My bad.

[evil grin]

 

That said, some of these are getting SO ridiculous it's actually kind of awesome:

Heck, I want to see this turned into a sit-com. We'll call it Two And A Half Babies. Short Stack here will wear a cute little hat on her waist stump and be perpetually waddling into walls. The other two babies will take turns stealing her boyfriends. Eh?

Oh, you know you'd watch it.

***

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

 

Thanks to Andrea B., Renee W., Anony 1 & Anony 2, Kiri S., & Susanna F. for the rear view wreckage.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.