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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (232)

Wednesday
Nov232016

No Mean Feet

If you want a simple theme for a baby shower, it's hard to go wrong with cute little footprints.

Unless the baker misses the "little" part, of course:

 

 Good grief, MY feet are smaller than that. Are you trying to give the mom-to-be a heart attack, bakers?

 

'Cuz if so, this is also an excellent way to go about it:

"Suddenly Nicola's plans for a natural, drug-free delivery seemed really, really stupid."

And how's the kid even fitting in there, Nicola? Do you have a TARDIS belly? o.0

 

Oh, wait, or maybe the kid is shaped like this:

 On the plus side, he probably won't fall over much.

 

But we were talking about footprints, weren't we?

Which might be what these are supposed to be. Maybe. Allegedly.

 

Hey, ever wanted to see a duck with human feet that only walks backwards?

Well, tough. You're going to see one anyway:

Embrace the insanity. 

And then waddle backwards with it.

 

"Sadly, little Mike's dream of becoming a professional dancer came with a slight disadvantage:"

And here I thought that was just a figure of speech.

 

Of course, the absolute creepiest thing you can do with a footprints shower theme is mistake "footprints" for actual feet:

Somewhere a quartet of elves is literally foot-loose and fancy-free*. 

And probably pissed.

 

*If by "fancy" you mean "feet."

 

Thanks to today's arch-enemies [smirk] Layli S., Arlene P., Linda A., Gianna M., Anony M., Melissa B., & Becca H. for the sole-full feets.

*****

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Thursday
Oct202016

This Wedding Cake Is So Bad It's Freaking Adorable

[running in] YOU GUYS.

I just found my new favorite wedding wreck.

 

It's... LOOKING... at me.

And once you see the face, that's all you'll see. The little puffball bowtie! The grumpy frown! The parade of heart butts on the bottom! It's... [wiping eyes]... It's just so beautiful.

Now I want Mr. Frumpy Puffball Butts to star in his own superhero comic. I want him to host a reality show where he crashes wedding receptions and critiques the hors d'oeuvres in a snooty British accent. I want a tag-team podcast with the Sorting Hat where they discuss current affairs. I want action figures, fuzzy pillows, coffee mugs!!

No no, wait, I've got it:

MR. FRUMPY PUFFBALL BUTTS FOR PRESIDENT.

YASSSSSS.

[pause followed by hushed whispers]

Er, OK, John says I need to go have a little lie-down now, but I'm telling you guys, I think I'm on to something here. Go ahead and share your best candidate slogan for Frumpy Puffball Butts in the comments, while I brainstorm lawn signs.

 

And thanks to Shannon C. for finding a campaign we can really sink our teeth into.

*****

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