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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (225)

Thursday
Jul212016

But What If The Customers Are Nuts?

Bakers, I want you to know that I know.

I KNOW.

Sometimes your customers are... weird.

I promise I'll keep this brief.

 

And hey, if someone with cash in hand asks you to draw Lebron James as an anesthesiologist, then by golly, you draw Lebron James as an anesthesiologist.

I hear he's a gas.

 

And if they want an anniversary cake of a fairy and a werewolf about to fight over a box garden, then of course you ask how many blood drips they want around the edges.

Because that's the job.

 

BUTT.

Can we all agree this was an order better left unfilled?

I mean, I'm not saying that's not a LOVELY toy train rammed up a Harley Davidson-tattooed butt. I'm not.

It's just maybe next time you could suggest something a little less cheeky. A little less wow-that-looks-like-a-wangy. A little less WHYGODWHY. You know?

 

That said, bakers, if you get an order like this?

Those customers aren't nuts, they're just Cake Wrecks fans. Who are totally cool. Though I'd be EXTRA nice if they have their cameras out. [evil grin]

 

Thanks to Alyce F., Ronni M., Tena C., Anony M., & Mark H., whose proposal cake from 2011 is making the rounds again online as an ACTUAL cake wreck - but we all know better. IT IS THE SWEETEST.

*****

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Monday
Jul182016

The Cake Wrecks Ink Blot Test

We need modern tools for a modern age, minions. That's why I'm proposing we throw out the passé Rorschach ink blot test for psychological evaluation... and use cakes instead.

 

"SO... [clicking pen, pushing up glasses, consulting clipboard]...

"Tell me.

"What do you see?"

"I'm sorry, did you just say "a screaming ding dong on a pile of dog crap"?

"You did?

[scribbling on clipboard] "Innnnnteresting."

 

"Right. How about this one?"

"Huh. Really? Huh.

"No, no, don't worry, LOTS of folks see "a pug who ate Italy."

[turns to camera, eyes wide, mouths NO THEY DON'T.]

 

"Ok, last one. Ready?

"What do you see?"

"And I'm going to need you to be really specific here, since the boss wants a label on this thing pronto, and I have no friggin' clue.

"Oh, wow, and look at the time! Guess my lunch break's over. So, would you like any more cakes, or should I just ring these three up?"

 

Thanks to Jessica D., Lindsey I., & Tracy A., who can probably think of worse things than having bakers for psychoanalysts. At least you'd get cake after each session, right?

*****

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