Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (249)

Wednesday
Aug222018

Tell Me That's Not A Spinal Cord Made Of Icing Flowers 

It's time again to plumb the depths of that most bizarre and inexplicable place:

The mind... OF A CAKE DECORATOR.

Buckle up, it's going to be a wrecky ride.

 

I can't decide if these are supposed to be teeth, eyeballs, or mini-marshmallows:

...but whatever they are, they are definitely bleeding out.

So...

Happy BiRtHDAY!

 

When you need to put on just enough fondant to call it a "fondant cake":

 

Not since the great Target Cookie Mountain of last June has something made me squint at my monitor this hard:

It looks like layers of canned whipped cream between sugar wafers? With Stay Puft knows what in the middle?

Allllllrighty then.

I left the label showing for all of you rushing out the door to go buy one. TRAITORS. Enjoy your soggy sugar wafers.

 

Look, there's no denying this next cake is lovely. The piping is exquisite, the writing is legible, and the pink fuzzy balls have never looked pinker or fuzzier:

But... why? WHYYYYYY

 

"OK, so we need it to look like a spinal cord, set inside stretched open skin, only make it with flowers."

"PERFECT."

 

[alien screeching and popping noises, followed by a loud hissing roar]

"PERFECT."

 

And finally, I probably shouldn't include this next one, because something about it screams "homemade" to me:

It could be the ripped-off doll's head. Or the store-bought candles. Or the actual screaming.

Anyway, if I ever make it to 113 or 114, please don't serve this.

I'll take the pink fuzzy balls instead.

 

Thanks to Jodee R., Joe V., Lisa W., Ann R., Rebekah R., Grace G., Kait C., & Missy D. for getting a head in the wreckage game.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:


Wednesday
Apr112018

Barking Up The Wrong Cake

So there I was, looking through thousands of awful wedding cake pics - as one does on a typical Tuesday night (WHAT) - when I started to notice an odd trend: tree cakes.

I don't mean the beautiful blossoming vines we see so often:

Loverly.

 

And I don't mean stump cakes, which Jen has devoted a whole tag to in iPhoto because we have that many:

Stumperly.

 

No, I mean a dead tree plastered up the side of a wedding cake.

Like this:

We really don't get enough opportunities to eat things the color of wet concrete.

 

Sometimes, in an effort to make the tree look slightly less dead, a baker will add "leaves":

 

Or "flowers":

"It just so happens this tree is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead... and all dead.

"Now hand me that knife, and we'll split the difference."

 

My favorite, though, is the baker who opted to liven up a dead tree with polka dots:

They're just so festive. In a pox-like kind of way. (Pox-ish?)

Like a festival of pox.
Woowoo!

 

Tell you what, bakers, why not stick to what we know? Simple, beautiful, blossoming vines.

Okay, maybe these could use a few polka dots.

 

Thanks to Amy L., Allison N., Daniel & Kim, Katy G., Layne L., Jon D., & Linda N. for branching out.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.