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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (199)

Wednesday
May282014

Here comes the bri...AAAAUUGGHHH!!!

Brides these days. [shaking head] When the big day arrives, some of them can reeeally lose their heads, you know?

That's the wedding cake.

 

Uh, maybe I should give you a moment.

[whistling]

All better? Have all your co-workers/family members gathered around the screen in response to your shrieks? Good. 'Cuz I want to talk about the consultation that resulted in this cake. Do you suppose it went something like this?

Bride: I want my wedding cake to look like my dress.

Baker: Sure, no problem. You want it on a dress form?

Bride: [scoffing] Uh, no-oo! It has to be on a body. MY body.

Baker: Wait, you want a full cake statue of yourself? Like this? [shows photo of infamous bride cake]

Bride: Ew, no! Who'd want to eat my head or arms? That's gross.

Baker: [relieved] Oh, good, 'cuz for a second there...

Bride: So just leave my head and arms off.

 

Here's another view: The limbless bride surveying her domain.

As you can see, the bride (the headed one, I mean) thought it would be cute to put her veil on the neck stump after the ceremony. Which certainly adds...well, a veil to the neck stump.

 

But you know what my favorite part is? Go on, guess.

No, not that. Or that. Hah! Good point, but no. Look, I'll just tell you, shall I?

Ok, it's this: the shoulder stumpies look a lot like outstretched, plucked chicken wings to me. Here, look at the first photo again and tell me you don't see a plucked headless chicken in a dress trying to flap off to freedom:

Flap flap flap.

You see it, don't you?

And if not, rest assured Headless Plucked Chicken Bride will be seeing YOU - in your dreams.

Mwuh-ha-ha-haaa!

 

Sleep tight, Anony M.

*****

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Friday
Apr252014

Princess Show & Sell

The princesses are back for National Princess Week, eager to show you their new castle!

[Original penis castle cake removed at baker's request. Please enjoy this other penis castle cake.]

You know what they say: "One princess' doorbell is another man's ding-dong."

 

Hey! Snow White! HANDS OFF!

Thank you.

 

They also want to show off their finger painting:

 

And their... crown?

Let's go with crown.

 

And whatever this thing is:

(I'm guessing "royal spider smasher.")

 

Hey, ever seen a reeeeally long hairball?

Ew.
Thanks, Rapunzel.

 

Some of them even got new dresses!

I guess that's one way to be the ball of the Belle.

 

Of course, not all princesses are DISNEY princesses.

In fact, may I be frank?

Awesome.

 

So just remember, ladies: you're never too old...

...to be a priscess.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Wendy, Kimberly C., Stephanie H., Vanessa C., Carissa B., Marjorie R., Stephanie H., & Heather for that priceless priscess.

*****

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