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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (240)

Thursday
May252017

The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!


That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guest's waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

 

Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Thursday
Apr272017

I Just Realized How Phallic "Saggy Clown Volcano" Is... And I'm OK With That 

Ever see a cake so deliberately confusing that you're sure you're missing something obvious?
I mean, look at this thing:

Someone went through a massive amount of effort - different colors, squiggle techniques, flotsam arrangement - all to make a senseless, saggy clown volcano. Why? What does it mean?

 

Or how about this snapshot of prehistoric life found in a bakery window?

How I imagine this went down:

"Is that a bridge over all the dinosaurs?"

"Yeah. The Brooklyn Bridge."

".... are you sure?"

"100%"

 

And now, what appears to be candy corn, sandwiched between two half-rounds of plain cake, all smashed onto a bed of... pimento... brains?

Remember when balloons on cake was a thing? And flowers? Those were the days.

 

And finally, Susan found this under the heading (heh) "Naughty but Nice," so I assume it's NSFW... but I can't for the life of me figure out HOW:

Somebody get me a old priest, a young priest, and an anatomy book.

 

Thanks to Vanessa, Jacob B., Andrea P., & Susan C. for the world's naughtiest furry hockey stick.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.