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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (237)

Monday
Jan162017

Are These Boobs? Do I Censor This? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

Minions, all I know about today's cake is that it was for a shower. I'm guessing a baby shower? Though I suppose it could have been for a bridal shower. Heck, this thing's weird enough it could have been for an actual wrap-up-your-hair-and-grab-the-back-loofah shower. I have no idea, is what I'm saying.

Also, can nipples be yellow? I only ask because I don't know if I should censor this thing or not. I mean, maybe those aren't nipples at all, maybe they're... [head tilt]... little sombreros. On cantaloupes. Being held in a purple neck sling thingie.

Which brings me to another issue: is the purple thing supposed to be a bra? Because news flash, baker: bras don't work like that. AT ALL.

Oh yeah, I guess I should show you all the cake, huh? You're probably asking, "Jen, are we there yet?" Which is funny, you asking it that way, because that brings me to the final weird bit:

...are we WHERE yet? Who's asking? What does that have to do with sombrero-wearing cantaloupes in a neck sling? How is any of this shower related? Is this real life? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??

[sits back down]
[pats hair into place]

Ahem.

Well, thanks, Cindy W., for leaving us with only questions. I look forward to everyone's myriad hypotheses - and sketches of sombrero-wearing cantaloupes - in the comments.

*****

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Wednesday
Nov232016

No Mean Feet

If you want a simple theme for a baby shower, it's hard to go wrong with cute little footprints.

Unless the baker misses the "little" part, of course:

 

 Good grief, MY feet are smaller than that. Are you trying to give the mom-to-be a heart attack, bakers?

 

'Cuz if so, this is also an excellent way to go about it:

"Suddenly Nicola's plans for a natural, drug-free delivery seemed really, really stupid."

And how's the kid even fitting in there, Nicola? Do you have a TARDIS belly? o.0

 

Oh, wait, or maybe the kid is shaped like this:

 On the plus side, he probably won't fall over much.

 

But we were talking about footprints, weren't we?

Which might be what these are supposed to be. Maybe. Allegedly.

 

Hey, ever wanted to see a duck with human feet that only walks backwards?

Well, tough. You're going to see one anyway:

Embrace the insanity. 

And then waddle backwards with it.

 

"Sadly, little Mike's dream of becoming a professional dancer came with a slight disadvantage:"

And here I thought that was just a figure of speech.

 

Of course, the absolute creepiest thing you can do with a footprints shower theme is mistake "footprints" for actual feet:

Somewhere a quartet of elves is literally foot-loose and fancy-free*. 

And probably pissed.

 

*If by "fancy" you mean "feet."

 

Thanks to today's arch-enemies [smirk] Layli S., Arlene P., Linda A., Gianna M., Anony M., Melissa B., & Becca H. for the sole-full feets.

*****

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