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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (232)

Thursday
Sep222016

The Beach Is Terrible And These Bakers Know It

Fall, Schmall - it's still 90 degrees here in the South, and we know just how to celebrate sun, sand, and whatever is happening here:

If you squint your eyes and back up a little, this will totally look fuzzier and farther away.

 

Look, Truth Time: we all know the beach sucks.

After all, it's hot,

 

...there are people there, a shark could eat your Barbies...

 

...there are people there, there's the whole sand situation...

 

...and sunburns,

(Actual photo of John after 20 minutes outside.)

...plus more people, and, well, you get the idea.

 

And can we talk about the littering? Because forget diapers in the ocean, now there are WHOLE BABY BUTTS:

This... cannot be sanitary.

Though I'll admit a grudging respect for whoever decided "Sleeping With The Fishes" was the perfect baby shower theme. I just hope they ran with it and had dock-side decorations, cement shoe balloon weights, and of course floating baby ice cubes, which for some reason are an actual thing.

 

Thanks to LeeAnn H., Heidi K., Porsha K., Chad C., Jennifer K., & Mary Susan for helping ensure none of my friends ever ask me to throw a baby shower. Again.

*****

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Tuesday
Sep132016

Rey From Star Wars Gets World's Crappiest Princess Cake

What do you do when your daughter wants one of those Princess/Barbie dress cakes for her birthday, only with Rey from Star Wars? (AFTER high-fiving her for having awesome taste, I mean.)

Well, you bring in the Rey doll and ask your baker to give her a big poofy cake skirt, that's what. You know, kind of like this:

(By Whitney Wickham)

Only more cakey.

So that's exactly what Julie S. did. She brought in the plastic figurine, asked for a dress cake, and got...

[drum roll, please]

 

This:

[WOMP WOMP]

I'll give you a moment to really absorb all the majesty.

 

Got it all absorbed?

Good.

Now check out the side view:

From this way it looks like she's being swallowed by a giant sand worm, right? See, this is why you always walk without rhythm in the desert, Rey.

 

Thanks to Julie S. for letting me cross the streams. Let's just hope it was spice cake.

*****

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