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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (228)

Monday
Jul182016

The Cake Wrecks Ink Blot Test

We need modern tools for a modern age, minions. That's why I'm proposing we throw out the passé Rorschach ink blot test for psychological evaluation... and use cakes instead.

 

"SO... [clicking pen, pushing up glasses, consulting clipboard]...

"Tell me.

"What do you see?"

"I'm sorry, did you just say "a screaming ding dong on a pile of dog crap"?

"You did?

[scribbling on clipboard] "Innnnnteresting."

 

"Right. How about this one?"

"Huh. Really? Huh.

"No, no, don't worry, LOTS of folks see "a pug who ate Italy."

[turns to camera, eyes wide, mouths NO THEY DON'T.]

 

"Ok, last one. Ready?

"What do you see?"

"And I'm going to need you to be really specific here, since the boss wants a label on this thing pronto, and I have no friggin' clue.

"Oh, wow, and look at the time! Guess my lunch break's over. So, would you like any more cakes, or should I just ring these three up?"

 

Thanks to Jessica D., Lindsey I., & Tracy A., who can probably think of worse things than having bakers for psychoanalysts. At least you'd get cake after each session, right?

*****

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Thursday
Jun232016

Barking Up The Wrong Cake

So there I was, looking through thousands of awful wedding cake pics - as one does on a typical Friday night (WHAT) - when I started to notice an odd trend: tree cakes.

I don't mean the beautiful blossoming vines we see so often:

Loverly.

 

And I don't mean stump cakes, which Jen has devoted a whole tag to in iPhoto because we have that many:

Stumperly.

 

No, I mean a dead tree plastered up the side of a wedding cake.

Like this:

We really don't get enough opportunities to eat things the color of wet concrete.

 

Sometimes, in an effort to make the tree look slightly less dead, a baker will add "leaves":

 

Or "flowers":

"It just so happens this tree is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead... and all dead.

"Now hand me that knife, and we'll split the difference."

 

My favorite, though, is the baker who opted to liven up a dead tree with polka dots:

They're just so festive. In a pox-like kind of way. (Pox-ish?)

Like a festival of pox.
Woowoo!

 

Tell you what, bakers, why not stick to what we know? Simple, beautiful, blossoming vines.

Okay, maybe these could use a few polka dots.

 

Thanks to Amy L., Allison N., Daniel & Kim, Katy G., Layne L., Jon D., & Linda N. for branching out.

*****

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