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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (242)

Friday
Aug112017

Batman Attacking A Shark With A Light Saber... Plus A Cow Udder

There are lots of crazy cakes out there, minions, but the thing to remember is there are distinctive LEVELS of crazy.

What's that? Do I have examples?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

Ahem hem hem.

[extending pen-pointer stick thingy]

First, we have Good Crazy:

Because while no one NEEDS a rainbow worm covered in Gummi Bears, why the heck not?

 

...which can be surpassed by Awesome Crazy:

Or, crazy awesome.

 

Then we have Bad Crazy:

That's right, running down frisbee players with your new birthday car is bad, Mark. BAAAAD.

 

First, let's just assume that says "Curt."
Second, Why?
Third, Why?
And fourth, SWEET STAY PUFT WHYYYYYY?!

Ahem.

 

Also, celebrating the US Navy's birthday with a sinking Titanic isn't so great, either:

 

And finally - and my personal favorite - we have Bat Sh*t Crazy.

This is the crazy that isn't bad, and isn't good. It's the Chaotic Neutral of crazy, if you will.
(And if you got that, YOU ARE SUCH A NERD. [let's be friends])

For example:

Soccer player butts next to badly rendered Pixar characters.

 

And of course:

Cow udders.

 

Thanks to Jessica B., Dana G., Richard W., Lindsay D., Brian E., Anony M., & Cheryl S., who could really see herself understanding cows.

(I'm so proud of that pun I actually teared up a little, you guys. WHAT.)

*****

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Monday
Jun192017

Here comes the bri...AAAAAUUGGHHH!!!

Brides these days. [shaking head] When the big day arrives, some of them can reeeally lose their heads, you know?

That's the wedding cake.

 

Uh, maybe I should give you a moment.

[whistling]

All better? Have all your co-workers/family members gathered around the screen in response to your shrieks? Good. 'Cuz I want to talk about the consultation that resulted in this cake. Do you suppose it went something like this?

Bride: I want my wedding cake to look like my dress.

Baker: Sure, no problem. You want it on a dress form?

Bride: [scoffing] Uh, no-oo! It has to be on a body. MY body.

Baker: Wait, you want a full cake statue of yourself? Like this? [shows photo of infamous bride cake]

Bride: Ew, no! Who'd want to eat my head or arms? That's gross.

Baker: [relieved] Oh, good, 'cuz for a second there...

Bride: So just leave my head and arms off.

 

Here's another view: The limbless bride surveying her domain.

As you can see, the bride (the headed one, I mean) thought it would be cute to put her veil on the neck stump after the ceremony. Which certainly adds...well, a veil to the neck stump.

 

But you know what my favorite part is? Go on, guess.

No, not that. Or that. Hah! Good point, but no. Look, I'll just tell you, shall I?

Ok, it's this: the shoulder stumpies look a lot like outstretched, plucked chicken wings to me. Here, look at the first photo again and tell me you don't see a plucked headless chicken in a dress trying to flap off to freedom:

Flap flap flap.

You see it, don't you?

And if not, rest assured Headless Plucked Chicken Bride will be seeing YOU - in your dreams.

Mwuh-ha-ha-haaa!

 

Sleep tight, Anony M.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: