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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (195)

Monday
Jun102013

Help Me, Princess Bride; You're My Only Hope

There are times when I get wrecks SO baffling that even I don't know what they're supposed to be.

During these times, I turn to The Princess Bride for help.

 

"Do you hear that? Those are the shrieking eels."


"That is the sound of ultimate suffering. The man in black makes it now."

(He's just over there, screaming at the mixer.)

 

"The chocolate coating helps it go down easier."

(We hope.)


 "I've just sucked one year of your life away."

 

"It's the PIT of DESPAAAAIR."

 

"I'm not saying I'd build a summer home here, but the trees are really quite lovely." 

 

And, of course:

"You ARE the Brute Squad!"

 

Thanks to Jackie K., Victoria E., Hopkin, Amy J., Lena C., Stephanie, and Amy B. for the inconceivably good time.

Friday
Jun072013

DONUT TEST ME, MAN

In honor of National Donut Day, I give you: 

13 Ways To Wreck a Perfectly Good Donut

(Because what are donuts, really, except small, holey cakes? That are deep-fried? I rest my case.)

 

1) Add poop:

 

2) Add poop with a worm crawling out of it:

 

3) Or a worm crawling out of... um... these things:

 

4) Put One Freaky Eye On It:

("I'm meeeel-ting!")


5) Put Four Freaky Teeth On It:

 

6) Make it angry:

 

7) Make it scary:

(Then tell kids it's the Easter Bunny.)

 

8) Make it confusing:

(Wha...?)


9) Glue a bunch together with frosting and call it a "donut cake."

(Hang on, what fresh abomination is this?)

 

10) Or stack them and call it a "wedding cake."

OY.

 

11) Misspell it:

S-U-A! S-U-A!

 

12) Or do this to it:

Ick.

 

13) Or, if all else fails, this:

"I'm sorry, but could I get a little more frosting on this? And maybe another waffle cone? With a cream pie on top? And some Gummi Bears? And one of those King Cakes? And then wrap it in a few dozen pancakes? Yeaaaah, that'd be greeeeeat."

 

Thanks to April R., Amy N., Susanna C., Ashley W., Aubrey L., Janet V., Sarah B., Malisa I., Jennifer S., Rachel K., Carol G., Sheriden C., & Rivit, and no, I won't make you one of those, because a girl's got to have standards. Plus I'm fresh out of King Cakes.