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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (197)

Monday
Jun032013

Channel Surfing

In honor of National Repeat Day, I thought we'd click through the channels and see what kind of reruns are playing on the ol' wrecky replay set!

[turning on magic internet TV]

[adjusting rabbit ears]

[then adjusting TV antennae]

[HEYO!]

Ahem. Ok, here we go!

[sound of static fading out]

"... check it! The caretaker here says there's this dog? That's like a ghost? That haunts the library and kills people? So we should totally go there."

"Whoa!"

*beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep* 

"Did you *beeeep*'n see that?!?"

[camera swinging wildly, sound of scuffling feet]

*beeeeep*

"Dude, tell me you got that on tape!!"

"Sorry, bra. It was pointed at the floor."

"Whoa."


*CLICK*!

 

"... telling ya, Bob, this here's the BEST vegetable rodeo since the great Zucchini Zambonis of  '02!"

*CLICK*!

 

"And next we have a particularly colorful specimen:

"The Majestic Disco Newt! Let us pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

"Right. That's long enough. And finally, we have..."

 

*CLICK!*

 

[fast-talking-yet-unenthusiastic guy in headset] "When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

"There's three different colors. You could use four colors. Or five. It doesn't matter. Pan-Wow.

"Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas. Use it for ..."

 

 *CLICK!*

 

"So I says to her, 'hey, baby, don't let the tiny clown car fool you; it's not the way you throw the cream pie, it's the way you put the tutu on the dog!' And she was all, 'What?' and I was all ..."

 

*CLICK!*

 

[Severe announcer voice] "Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:

[sternly] "Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.

 "Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face ...

 

"... of a tweety bird."

 

*CLICK!*

 

Yep, as I suspected: nothing on. Ah well! Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow.

 

Thanks to Leslie, Jordarn J., Marie H., Amy F., Matt N., Christine S. for the rerun run-through.

Thursday
May302013

Hungry Like A Wolf

Just when you thought bakeries had FINALLY run out of those angsty Twilight photos:

"Hey girl, sorry my rippling pectorals are covered up by this Snuggie, but I want you to know that this lone wolf is educated now, and that means no more hunting chickens on the full moon, or shedding on the duvet, or turning in circles five times before I can take a nap. That's right, grrrrl; I'm a changed man! Look at this neckface: would I lie to you?" 

 

Sharee N. tells me she found this in a bakery display window, so I guess that's one small step for recycling, and one giant leap backwards for those of us easily startled.

So... thanks a LOT, Sharee. [twitch]