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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (225)

Wednesday
Jul082009

Christmas in July: Going Dutch

Ok, sure, it's July, and the last thing on your mind is broadening your...uh...mind...with exposure to international holiday traditions - I get it. However, this particular post was deemed by the powers that be* too controversial to post back in December, so all my hard work and sparkling wit got shelved, its radiance cloaked all these long months.

So what changed?

Well, that's a long story. One involving too many mango mojitos, a Chuck marathon, and a malfunctioning alarm clock. (Ok, so maybe it's not that long of a story...)

But enough intro: you guys ready to have those minds broadened? I promise it will only sting a little.

*meaning me, John, and the cat

In the Netherlands Santa Claus (called Sinterklaas) doesn't have elves for sidekicks; he has Zwarte Piet (meaning "Black Pete"). Zwarte Piet is usually played by a white guy in blackface makeup, a curly black wig, and big gold hoop earrings. (I am SO not making this up.)

Here's a reference photo from Wikipedia:

"Get your hand off my robe; you'll make it dirty."

Zwarte shows up in cake form quite a lot, too, and in less than flattering ways:

However, if this seems a little insensitive to you, Wreckporter Kiki has a perfectly reasonable explanation:

"Dutch people claim Pete is black because of the soot in the chimneys he has to climb down to deliver the gifts."

OH, so it's soot! Ok, I get it. And you're right: this does look a lot like Bert the chimney sweep:


We all know how Bert liked his lipstick.

And dressing up like Aunt Jemima:


This one found by Wouter T. is probably the most wreckish; it looks like the remains of a melting muppet:


Ever heard the expression "in for a penny, in for a pound"? Well, since I'm already stirring up trouble here, I may as well share what Megan H. found at a bakery in Argentina:

They're little cakes called "Africancitos", or "little black men". With bows on their heads. I don't think they're a holiday treat, though, so you can enjoy your little-black-men cake heads any time of the year. "Great for parties!"

(Yes, I've officially crossed the line from horrified disbelief into horrified humor. It's more fun over here - won't you join me?)

To those of you offended by all this, you should know that Zwarte Piet was not intended to be offensive. (Argentina, you're on your own.) And to those of you who see nothing wrong with outdated and racially insensitive traditions, you should take a look at this poster:

Thursday
Jul022009

Taking Liberties

As we gear up for the fourth of July, it's nice to see bakeries celebrating the freedom our brave men and women in the armed forces have afforded them.

Namely, the freedom to unleash Wreckage of this caliber on the unsuspecting populace:

'Cuz if you've got it, flaunt it, right?

The star of Irving, David's rarely-mentioned younger brother.

I think this is either an umbrella or a pair of scissors. John sees a hand making the peace sign. And to be honest, the fact that all of those are options is oddly impressive.

This last one looks like one of those cartoon steam whistles, like in Steamboat Willy:

Since whistles don't usually say "Bang!", though, I guess I have to agree with Tara M. that this is a firecracker. Which makes about as much sense as a steam whistle saying "Bang!", come to think of it.

Shelley B., David K., Kelly B., did you notice that ALL of today's Wrecks are cupcake cakes?

NOTE: Thank you all for the many kind comments and e-mails yesterday. I'm in surgery today at 1PM EST, but should be back tweeting and snarking away by this evening. You've reminded me once again that I have the best readers any blogger could ever hope for, so thanks again.

UPDATE: The surgery went great! And y'all weren't kidding about the drugs...I almost wish I needed to take more, but I'm feeling surprisingly little pain. Your well-wishes and prayers were very much appreciated and felt, so thank you all again!