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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (199)

Monday
Dec222008

Totally Cheating

In yet another blow to true cake artists everywhere, many large chain bakeries are now "decorating" cakes almost exclusively with plastic flotsam. In theory, this means the "decorators" require even less skill, and therefore will wreck less cakes. That's the theory, anyway.

Well, Kelinda S., I guess we can't complain too much here: so long as the decorators don't put the feet on backwards, there's really not much they could do to wreck this design up.

Wait, did I say put the feet on backwards?

Ok, so these designs are still wreckable, as Jen S. discovered with Thunder Thighs Santa here. Though to be fair, maybe the decorator's thumbs DO face that way - that might explain a lot, actually...*

Some of these plastic cheats are deceptive. For example, at first glance Lyndsay W.'s find looks like a really well-made Santa suicide scene:

(Yes, of course Santa bleeds sprinkles. Duh.) However, that head is actually plastic. It's even kind of cute, compared with the nightmarish clown-head-picks all us Wilton vets know so well.

Of course, other plastic cheats can be just a smidge more obvious, as Amy D. discovered:

Attention Bakery Managers: you may want to post some instruction photos for these cheat kits. You know, to avoid the whole upside-down-nose-and-mustache thing.

What, you can't tell it's upside down? Here, I'll show you:

See? Santa went from sad & droopy to only mildly consternated. Much better. Also, if this Wreck isn't proof that wreckerators are addicted to their airbrushes, I don't know what is. I mean, it looks like someone attacked Santa with a machete! Two words, guys: "Inter" and "Vention". [earnest head nodding]

As someone who enjoys wrapping gifts so much that I actually *d0* wrap empty boxes just for funsies, I find this next one from Brian D. especially horrifying:

That's REAL non-matching ribbon on the lumpy green square thing edged with ketchup ooze on the round cake board. And did I mention the ribbons don't match? [shudder]

But then, Brian M. reminds us that in this season of extravagance it's often the little things that can bring the most joy:

Even better: the package next to this one also has the "oh oh oh"s. Score!!!

* Ok, yes, I suppose your thumbs would be on the outside if you bend your arms at the elbow. And yes, it took me about 45 seconds of thumb twisting experimentation to figure that out. :)

Saturday
Dec202008

Ye Olde Yuletide Ax

Prepare your retinas for an assault of Christmas-time proportions:

Jami H. assures me there's actually cake under that mess. A mess, I might add, which is completely inedible - except for the frosting dots on the plastic aquarium sprigs, of course. So let's see: we've got trees, icicle garland, holly berries and leaves, and a shiny gold...ax?

Srsly - who plans this stuff?