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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (195)

Wednesday
Mar272013

The Easter WOW Factor

Easter cakes, this is your week to shine! WOW US!


::awkward pause::

Ok, new plan: 

Continue avoiding eye contact and hope for the best.

 

Am I seeing things, or are those twist ties sticking out of Groucho's neck?

 

And are these ... mandibles?

HOVER BUN.

 

Hang on, I just found my new favorite:

I don't know what it is, but I like how you can almost hear it screaming.

 

Here comes Peter Cotton's tail!

What, you again?

 YOU SPIT PETER OUT THIS INSTANT!

 

You just don't see enough anthropomorphic fire hydrant cakes these days.

Am I right, or am I right?

 

And in case you've ever wondered what a snooty cat eating a lemon would look like:


WONDER NO MORE.

(I'm afraid to ask what those ears are made of, so let's just call them what they look like: rawhide pig ears dipped in white chocolate. Thereby making plastic sound a MILLION times more appetizing.)

 

Now, I know you've all been wondering, so I'm happy to report that I've finally figured it out:

THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA.

 

 

Thanks to Barb & Jane, Patrick D., Emily E., Amy T., Erin G., Ted W., Lisa M., & Jennifer S. for inspiring my next band name: The Amorphous Bunny Blobs. (We'll only play sock hops, of course.)

Wednesday
Mar202013

Jen Tells An Easter Story

Gather round, little Easter cakes, and I'll tell you a story.

"Is it a scary story?"

Yes.

 

"But I don't LIKE scawwy stowies."

 

TOUGH.

 

Oh, ok, ok. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Hey, you know what? It actually ISN'T a scary story, it's a happy, funny story. 

So Wilhelm, you can stop holding your breath now:

 

[PHEEEW!]

 

Ok, here we go. 

Once upon a time - a really FUNNY, HAPPY time - a group of bunny rabbits found a field filled with the most enormous carrots.

"Did one of the rabbits have all his legs sprouting from his chest upside down and backwards, too?

 Yeah, sure.

 

"Yay! Harold's in the story!"

 Yes, yes, it's wonderful. 

Shaddup. 

 Ok. So. Suddenly, the giant carrots in the field rose up and ATE ALL THE BUNNIES.

 

 And the bunnies were all, "AAA! We're being eaten by giant carrots!"

 

  [pause]

 "Uh, that doesn't seem very happy OR funny...."

 Well, the rabbits thought it was very funny to be eaten.

 

***

Now why are YOU guys crying?

 

 [sniffling] "You said this was a GOOD story."

 

 It is! I just haven't gotten to the best part yet! See, next a bunch of little chickens came along and found these ENORMOUS chocolate chip cookies lying around. And then the FUNNIEST thing ever happened. Haha! Can you guess? Well, can you?

 

You know what, never mind. It's nap time. THE END.

 

Thanks to Caroline V., Allison N., Rachael J., Adash, Brian & Courtney, KJ, Robin G., Carrie M., Anne B., Su M., Twist, & Larissa B. for helping show why I'm such a terrible babysitter.