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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Beyond Bizarre (200)

Thursday
Nov132008

Face Time On CW

This is so exciting, everyone: I had no idea there were Doctor Who fans in the Walmart bakery! Check this out:


How cool is that, huh? It's totally Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen!

[crickets chirping]

What?

[Pin dropping. Loudly.]

What's with all the blank looks? Are you guys telling me you don't know who Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen is? Really?

Oh.

Well, here, she looks like this:

See, she's a human from the future, and she's had so much plastic surgery that there's nothing left but her face. Get it? (Really, I don't see how you guys survive without this kind of quality programming in your lives.)

Ok, now go look at that "cake" again, and tell me it's not her. Go on.

Hm? Oh. Yeah, I guess you do have a point: she doesn't have eyebrows. Or a nose. Or weird purply hair tufts. Or antennae. But if that's not supposed to be Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and say maybe the Walmart in question should consider employee drug screening. Not that I'm implying anything by that, of course - nosirree.

Thomas R., you thought it was her, too - right?

Friday
Oct312008

Mum's the Word

Wow, I'm almost sad it's Halloween; I have oodles more Halloween Wrecks to share! (So take note, Wreckporters: get your Thanksgiving Wrecks submitted early.)

Let's see, we've covered pumpkins and ghosts and spiders, but I feel like something's missing from our Halloween line up...

OH! I know! This is:


Erm.

Hey, John R.? What'd you say this was again? A mummy? [checking photo again] With a red hair bow? Seriously? Wait - that's a cookie! Does that even count?

Hm, well, let's see what Amanda M. dug up for us.

Amanda thought this was some kind of spiderweb, but my Wreck radar is telling me it was supposed to be a mummy head. It's also alerting me to the fact that this is a dreaded CCC, so we'd best move on.

Ok, here we go: that's actually recognizable. Kudos, Annie D.; I bet you never thought this would be the best looking one, huh? Still, I include it as a base of reference for this next one:


Yep, Stephanie S. reports that this was actually labeled "Mummy Cake". As opposed to "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

And the award for "Least Effort Exerted in Making Overstocked Cakes into Halloween Cakes" goes to:


Like you, I thought that surely this design (found by Amy W.) was a one-store fluke. But then I got this from Jessica K.:

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Still, I don't think any of those Wrecks can compete with what Michael G. uncovered:

Words fail me. The stringy white stuff, the eyeballs, the two fingers...yep, I got nuthin'. Y'all will have to help me out here: what the heck is this? My best guess is a melted mummy, but I'm sure you guys can come up with something better.