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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Cake News (55)

Tuesday
Aug072012

Caaaakes in SPAAAACE!

Did you notice how I artfully blended "pigs in space" with a Portal 2 reference? Didya? That's professional level geekery right there. Do not try at home (without an audience).

 

I was up 'til 3AM yesterday morning watching the live feeds from NASA as the Curiosity rover touched down on Mars. As many have already pointed out, it's amazing to live in a time when we can get pictures from MARS in only 15 minutes, and live coverage of the Olympics from NBC in only 6 hours. [jazz hands] THE FUTURE!

 Anyway, needless to say the sight of all those brilliant people with brilliant hairdos (not joking, for once) celebrating with such joyous, nerdy abandon made me bawl like a baby. Which is to say in an ugly, squealish manner, and with just the right amount of pee leakage.

 To celebrate this momentous occasion (the Mars landing, not the pee leakage), I've invited the planet Mars 'round to comment:

 

Unfortunately, the planet had nothing to add other than a few highly questionable landing suggestions for Uranus. And boy is his face red.

 

But that's ok, because this AMAZING Mars Rover cake steals the show, anyway:

 

(Found here.)

 This was made back in 2009 in honor of the rover's 5th anniversary on Mars, and that's the baker, Chris Vasilakis, next to it. The Curiosity rover is much larger, of course, but as John says, "They both have six wheels and lots of technical junk on them," so that means they're practically twins

 Some details:

 "The body of the rover and the high gain antenna were all made of toffee buttercrunch cake with cinnamon buttercream between the layers.  The wheels and a few other parts were made of rice krispie treats.  Note the fondant birthday candles at the front in the instrument arm.  The red stuff at the bottom is all edible homemade mars…shmallow."

 

Judging by that pun, I'm pretty sure she and I would get along fabulously

 

And now, a cool story, bro:

 Laurie L., the wreckporter who sent in the rover cake, was actually the MC at the NASA event that hosted the now infamous phallic Space Shuttle wreck.

 You know, this one?

 

 She was there, you guys! An actual eye witness!

 Laurie writes,

 "Believe it or not, it was a celebration of the 25th anniversary of Sally Ride's flight as the first American Woman in Space, and Sally was there.  You can imagine how mortified I was when I arrived and saw the cake (which I had nothing to do with ordering…).  As if having a cake that said 'We've come along way' wasn't bad enough…! Anyway, as you can tell, I've still got a little PTSD going about the whole experience."

 Just remember, Laurie, there's healing through laughter. And lots and lots of dirty puns. (Is it wrong I'm still proud of that post?) (No, don't answer that; I know it is.)

 

 Now, stay tuned for the fabric wreck winning entries from Friday's contest! So much hilarity. And towels. And toys. And random household objects.

Tuesday
Jul312012

Hey, This Cake Tastes Like Cardboard!

We've all been there: you order something special, wait weeks for it to arrive, and then discover the hard way that you're allergic to latex. Dang it.

My point is, we've all faced disappointment. And itchiness. But mostly disappointment.

Case in point: Eagle-eyed wreckporter Leigh attended a graduation party last month where the cake turned out to be, well...a little dry. 

First the hostess commented how hard the cake was, as she couldn't get a balloon pick to stick into the cake

Then they tried to cut it.

Emphasis on tried:

Hey. Waaaaait a second. Is that...?

   

IT IS! 

It's a frosted cardboard box!

 

This would be a brilliant prank, of course, if it hadn't come straight out of the refrigerated display at their local big-chain store bakery (you can see the price tag in the first photo). OOPSIE. I guess now we know where all those display cakes end up!

 

A big thank you to Leigh W. for forever redefining "box mix." You know, between this and that time Amy found a pair of scissors in her birthday cake, I'm starting to see why some folks prefer homemade.