Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creative Grammar (71)

Monday
Sep242012

Can I Quote You On That?

Woohoo!! It's National Punctuation Day!  

 You know what to do!

I stand corrected.

 

Bakers, contrary to popular belief, those curved thingies are not sideways "happy hugs" for your text; they're parentheses. But I'll make this easy for you: YOU WILL NEVER NEED PARENTHESES ON YOUR CAKES. So don't use them. Ever.

No, not even for a name in all caps.

 

And not for anniversaries, either.

 

Gosh. I bet "Mom" is really feeling like part of the family right now.

 

 Which brings me to my next point:

STOP IT WITH THE QUOTATION MARKS ALREADY.

 

Why are these numbers in quotes? Are they euphemisms or something? Are these people not really 13 and 59? And why does this keep happening, anyway?

 

Oh.

 

Thanks to Monica, Debb D., Tamara M.,  Alyssa V., Amy C., Rachel C., and Aurora C. for helping me cover parentheses and quotation marks. Tomorrow: COLONS! (You'll have to check back to see which kind.)

Tuesday
May082012

Hey, Teachers! "THANX."

It's Teacher Appreciation Day!

So if you're reading this right now, you should thank a teacher.  

 

And if you're not reading this right now, then your eyebrows are asymmetrical and you smell like cheese. HA. BURN.

See why you need to learn to read, kids? That's right: so you know when random strangers on the Internet are insulting you. Which is always. But reading will give you the specifics.

Ok, now that I'm done with my inspirational pep talk, let's get down to this "thanking" business.

 

[looking over glasses]

[adopting scholarly tone]

[consulting note cards]

 

As a society, we owe our teachers, like, a LOT. (Not an alot, mind you, but a LOT.) 

 After all, without teachers, who would instruct us in our letters and numbers?  

[starting slideshow]

 

 

Or in proper grammar?

 

Or reading comprehension?

 And then write something witty.

 

We also can't forget proper penmanship:


And, of course, the arts:

 

 ACK! Um...sorry, wrong slide. How did that get in there? Heheh. Whoopsie! 

We must never speak of this again.

 

Moving on... (no pun intended)( 'cuz I'm just that good)...Where was I? 

Oh, right.

The arts:

Curse you, budget cuts. CURSE YOU.

 

So today, I want you all to:

 

By offering a hearty:

 

Because:

 Um...what the cake said.

 

Thanks to Robert L., Brooke M.,  Gerta B., Chana L., Nanak B., Kelly H., Brooke B., Mindy W., Amy S., and teachers everywhere for the education.