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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creepy Cakes (177)

Thursday
Nov092017

The Baby Cake Gets Cut Down To Size

You know how sometimes you see a baby cake that's not too horrendously awful, and your first reaction is something like,

"
Aw, just lookit that face! Who's a cute widdle boopsie woopsie baby? Is it you? Yes, it's you!!"

(Actually, sorry, that's John talking to our cats. My bad.)


Anyway, my point is that while some of these baby cakes might be just the teensiest bit cute, you have to remember one very important thing:

 

It's all fun and games 'til you cut the cake.
Yes, I have an example. Brace yourself.


Here we have the standard old man baby cake:

I say we call him Benjamin. ('Cuz he's cute as a Button!)


[Quick side note: in case you're wondering, as I did, why he's on a food court tray: it turns out that's a new type of cake board popping up in bakeries. Weird, I know. Ok, sorry to interrupt. Let's move on.]

 

And just so you get the full effect:

Just lookit that face!

 

No really, look at it. Aren't you glad the eyes aren't open?

[shiver] Whoah. I just gave myself the willies. (Or should I call them the "bennies?")



Okay. So, über realistic baby. Been there, done that. However, here's where things get...

...cutting.

 

I would insert some side-splitting commentary here about how stabbing someone in the back always gets you the cold shoulder in the end - but as you can see, there's no need. He's already "waist"ing away!


Oh, Oh! Wait! I have one more:

Hey, Benji! You just got served!

 

Bwahahahahahaahaa!

Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.


Anyway, we still haven't gotten to the worst part yet. The worst part actually, literally, in real reality, honestly gave John nightmares. Seriously. So now he won't let me post it here. Instead, I'm going to link to it. But please, all joking aside, choose your clicks wisely. I'm here to make you laugh, not give you nightmares - and this thing puts the "ick" in "squicky."

 

Ok, enough warnings (since I'm sure they're having the opposite affect anyway): Click here to see the final photo. Also there's a video if you're into that kind of thing...

Thanks to Kimberley K., who will never again say to a child, "I could just eat you up!"

*****

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Friday
Oct202017

To Be Read By Rod Serling

Deedeedeedeeedeedeedeedee

You unlock this bakery with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.

A dimension of icing.

A dimension of piping bags.

A dimension of wreckitude.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of bad taste and even worse skill. You just crossed over into...

The Twilight Zone.


BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHH...

 Picture, if you will... a monkey. This monkey:

I know, creepy right? [shivering] Brrrrrr. Totally.

 

[resuming serious announcer voice] Ahem. Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:

[sternly] Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.

 

Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face...

...of a tweety bird.

 

 Now picture, if you will, Meerkat Zombies...raising the roof.


"What up, playah?"

 

This is the stuff of fantasy, the thread of imagination, the ingredients... of the Twilight Zone.

 BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHHH... SQUEEDLEDEEEE!!!


Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L., picture, if you will... a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan. Then tell me what that looks like. I've always wondered.

 

Note: A couple of people suggested the pictures should be in black and white which was an awesome idea. So we changed them. I think it adds to the ambiance, don't you? For those who really want to see the full color versions, click here.

UPDATE! LeAnna and Woobie took up the dolphin challenge and sent in their ideas.

 

First LeAnna's:
AWESOME! Check out the flip flop thongs on his flippers.

 

And next we have Woobie's
See, the snickers bar is wearing the cardigan and flip flops because I apparently have no grasp of sentence structure. ?thought Who would have

Touché!

 

One more!
This one's from Vanilla Smoke. Awesome!

 

*****

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