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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creepy Cakes (173)

Tuesday
Jul282009

Reality Bit

NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.

Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.

The only problem is, when you make something like this:

Photo removed at baker's request

 

Well, no one wants to eat it.


Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?

 

Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?

 

"I call butt!"

 

 

Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?

 

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.

You know, like this:

 

Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.

 

 

Heather S., Steven K., Michelle G., & Liz J., does that kid really have a 3rd arm sprouting from his chest? Why...I think he does. Pass the milk!

 

Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

 

Friday
Jul242009

A Womb with a View

Sure, torso cakes are kind of freaky, and eating cake babies can be off-putting, but what else is there for the baby shower hostess who wants to creep out her guests under the guise of serving a scrumptious treat? Is there nothing new under the Wrecky sun?

(Hah, like you don't know the answer to that.)

Presenting...the sonogram cake!


Thank you, edible image printing and 3D ultrasound imaging! Who knew two technologies could come together to create something so deliciously horrifying?

Now, don't get me wrong: I appreciate that sonograms allow moms to get an advance viewing of their little bun in the oven - I do. And most of these cakes are actually really well made, too. But let's face it: these new 3D sonograms look like they were directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Look into the hollow eye sockets of this shadowy visage and tell me the truth...

...are you feeling hungry?

And check out the contrast on this one: it's all sweet pastel ribbons & bows, but with a doorway into the Twilight Zone:

That bear's face says it all: "What kind of filling did you use?!?"

Compared to these, the more traditional sonograms look positively cuddly. They still make for some Wrecktastic cakes, though:

Hmm. What do you suppose it really is, Hannah M.?

And if you think that airbrushing is bad, check this out:

I think that's supposed to be a side view of the mom's torso, which makes her...a headless nudist with a skin condition? Mmm, tasty.

And you know it didn't take long for someone to combine these two ideas:

"Hey, y'all! Come check out this black & white TV lodged in my belly!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Kathleen E., Connie P., Thomas S., & Summer R.!

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions