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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creepy Cakes (143)

Wednesday
Oct152008

Confessions of a Cake Wrecker

Cake decorators are an interesting lot.

For example, some of them find this site absolutely hilarious...until they see their cake on it.* Others find the very concept of Cake Wrecks repugnant. Still others - and these are the ones I love - realize that Wrecks are a part of life and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, some of this rare, wonderful breed even submit their own cakes. Huzzah! That's the spirit! Why get cranky over a Wrecky creation when you can share it with us, generate some laughs, and be a proud Wrecker for the day?

With all of that said, today's Wreck comes from Alison, owner of Alison's Cakery in NC. Like most Wreck creators, she usually makes gorgeous cakes. She writes:

"I was asked to make a baby shower cake for a very non-traditional mother, [but] she had her baby 3 months premature. In a moment of brilliance (or insanity, or sleeplessness) I decided to make a 'surprise baby' just exited the mommy early, kind of like a new year's baby coming out of the cake. After a bit of time modeling I was pretty satisfied with my finished product."

And here it is:


[nodding] Very nice, very... er...hey...wait a second....can we zoom in?


AAAAAUUUGGGHH!!!

I've heard of losing your head over a pregnancy before, but your arms and legs, too?

Fortunately, Alison has more to say:
"I showed the cake to one of my associates, who said it looked like an alien bursting out of a decapitated mother's funereal body. Needless to say, this topper did not stay."

No, really, it's not that bad...

[checking photo again] Er, ok, yes it is.

Not to say that the alien-bursting-forth concept wasn't a good one, though. I mean, at least the mother's decapitated and dismembered torso has clothes on.

Alison, you just keep wrecking on with your bad self, girl. And bakers, I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson here today: submitting your own cakes to Cake Wrecks could get you free advertising. Oh, and always have an associate double-check your work. ;)

* My idea for an apron: "It's all fun and games 'til it ends up on Cake Wrecks!"

Monday
Oct132008

Like THIS, Not Like THAT

Fellow Cake lovers, I've come to a crisis of conscience.

You all know my stance on cupcake-cakes, and it's a stance that I thought nothing, no matter how delightfully sugar-encrusted, could change.

Then, Wreckporter Iliea S. sent me this photo:


And I have to admit, my friends, I am torn. Torn, like an old sweater! You see, yes, this is a cupcake cake. Yes, it is that crime-against-nature shade of blue, destined to stain, well, everything. By all rights I should treat this "cake" with contempt and move on.

And yet... and yet... I LIKE IT! I really do! I think the googly eyes are adorable! I even caught myself fantasizing about making this for John's birthday in a few weeks! ACK!

There, I said it. [shifty eyes] Now I feel like I need to go to cake confession or something.

Ah, but this post wouldn't be a complete without a Wreck, would it? So if I can't bring myself to label the above CCC a Wreck, I'll just have to go with...

This one!


Woohoo! Now, here the world has returned to its natural order, 'cuz this sucker is as Wrecktastic as CCCs come. Are those side wings supposed to be jowls, or arms? Huh. [head tilt] Well, considering there are cookies impaled in them, I'm going to have to guess 'arms'.

Now, those cookies in the middle - are those supposed to be lips, or is Cookie Monster just choking to death? I mean, overall he does kind of have that death-throes look about him, doesn't he? Still, I wouldn't even want to guess what the white icing in the middle is supposed to be - teeth? Foam? (Ewww.)

And while I'm at it, I really should throw these guys in:

It's a whole host of choking cookie monsters! And Kate S., I DO see the difference, I really do.

And look at this: apparently there are lots of decorators out there who have bad childhood memories of Mr. Monster:

Not only do these guys have a pleading look of terror on their faces, they also have their mouths stitched...open? Wait, that can't be right. What is that, then, a mustache? Oh, and would you please get a load of the icing to cupcake ratio? I mean, daaaang.

Sonya G., did you put them out of their misery?