[dramatic announcer voice]
From the wreckers who brought you... Monkey Ball!
And this candle:
Comes the most terrifying children's birthday cake of 2014.
She's not here to be sweet.
She's not here to be your friend.
["But mooo-ooooom! I want a PRINCESS CAKE!!"]
...for just desserts.
Thanks to Deirdre M., Anony M., Charesse, Tiffany Z., Emma P. (who found the candle in a vintage cake decorating manual), & Angela F. for the perfect princess-craze antidote.