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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creepy Cakes (144)

Wednesday
May292013

These Cakes Need A DOCTOR

Listen, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I know everything you're about to say. 

It's complicated. And kind of wibbly-wobbly.

Hey, you leave my mother out of this!

Now, look, we haven't got much time; the average internet-using adult's attention span lasts only... DUCK!!

  DON'T BLINK.

Then he'd win the staring contest.

 

Like I was saying, we don't have much... AAAAH WEEPING ANGEL!

Oh. Sorry, Sheila! Thought you were someone else. That's some really fetching pipe strapping and glitter tulle you've got there, though.

 

Anyway, guys, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. But it's up to you now.

So... what do you think of this cake?

I mean, it's clearly descending into a temporal rift. Or possibly the Swamps of Sadness. And I'm sure there's some kind of hidden meaning to "police = box." But more importantly: is it bigger on the inside, and if so, can I have a piece the size of a buffalo?

 

Or how about this one?

I've always thought the TARDIS could be a bit softer/squishier, so this groom's cake/ throw-rug is JUST the thing.

 

Brace yourself, for I sense there are dark times ahead for this next one.

Or maybe just for your bowels. 

HeheheheheEW.

 (You'd almost think the color of the photo was off, until you notice the top "light." Da heck?)

 

Anyway, like I said, it's up to YOU to rescue these cakes from a bunch of garden statuary playing Red Light Green Light. It's super easy, though. You just need some fish sticks, an extra bow tie, a Cthulhu mask with a Pokémon ball, a really, really long scarf, and ...

 

TOO LATE!

By The Bunny Baker

 

Thanks to Krista C., Rauha, Marielen, Valorie M., and Mairi R. for the time out. (And yes, that angel cake IS pretty dang awesome. And terrifying. But awesome. But terrifying.)

Friday
Dec282012

Resolution Delusions

2012 is winding down, my friends, so it's time to start brainstorming all the resolutions we're going to commit to, post proudly on Facebook, and then quietly renege on by Valentines'. To not do so would be positively UNAMERICAN, so let's get started!

Just remember: The ol' "better diet and more exercise" routine is BO-RING. Nobody cares if you ever fit into your college jeans again, mkay? So why not give us something with a little more zip? A little more pizazz? A little more "yahoo and how?"

You know, like: 

 - Better bowel habits.

Or drinking less booze. Really, this cake works for both.

 

- Become a vegetarian

That's always a hip, happening kind of choice - unlike using the words "hip" and/or "happening." And if you need a little incentive:

Thaaaat oughta do it.

 (The baker sent this to me herself, btw, so don't think I'm being mean by leaving that watermark on. And yes, it's SUPPOSED to be bloody fried chicken. So speaking as someone who really likes fried chicken, I'd like to wish a pox on the house of Jen's Just Desserts - while fully realizing the overwhelming irony of the name.)

 

For a more intellectual New Year's goal, how about:

- Go to college

Clown college totally counts. Plus it's perfect for anyone who hates children*!

 

Here's one we can all aspire to: 

- Be more supportive of friends and loved ones:

'Nuff said.

 

Or, finally, in 2013:

- Don't be afraid to admit when you've made a mistake.

 After all, there's no shame in admitting when you're wrong.

There are, however, certain website audiences which will get a real kick out of it.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Jen R., Diana, Michelle B., & Sarah G. for the suggestions. Personally, I think I'm going with "play more video games" and "leave the house more." You, uh, don't suppose those two will interfere with each other, do you? o.0


*I say this as a former clown who does, in fact, have a strong dislike of children. (Hey, don't judge 'til you've seen a roving pack of unsupervised children descend upon a single clown bearing a bag of candy, ok? They're animals. ANIMALS, I tell you!)