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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Creepy Cakes (147)

Monday
Jun032013

Channel Surfing

In honor of National Repeat Day, I thought we'd click through the channels and see what kind of reruns are playing on the ol' wrecky replay set!

[turning on magic internet TV]

[adjusting rabbit ears]

[then adjusting TV antennae]

[HEYO!]

Ahem. Ok, here we go!

[sound of static fading out]

"... check it! The caretaker here says there's this dog? That's like a ghost? That haunts the library and kills people? So we should totally go there."

"Whoa!"

*beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep* 

"Did you *beeeep*'n see that?!?"

[camera swinging wildly, sound of scuffling feet]

*beeeeep*

"Dude, tell me you got that on tape!!"

"Sorry, bra. It was pointed at the floor."

"Whoa."


*CLICK*!

 

"... telling ya, Bob, this here's the BEST vegetable rodeo since the great Zucchini Zambonis of  '02!"

*CLICK*!

 

"And next we have a particularly colorful specimen:

"The Majestic Disco Newt! Let us pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

"Right. That's long enough. And finally, we have..."

 

*CLICK!*

 

[fast-talking-yet-unenthusiastic guy in headset] "When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

"There's three different colors. You could use four colors. Or five. It doesn't matter. Pan-Wow.

"Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas. Use it for ..."

 

 *CLICK!*

 

"So I says to her, 'hey, baby, don't let the tiny clown car fool you; it's not the way you throw the cream pie, it's the way you put the tutu on the dog!' And she was all, 'What?' and I was all ..."

 

*CLICK!*

 

[Severe announcer voice] "Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:

[sternly] "Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.

 "Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face ...

 

"... of a tweety bird."

 

*CLICK!*

 

Yep, as I suspected: nothing on. Ah well! Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow.

 

Thanks to Leslie, Jordarn J., Marie H., Amy F., Matt N., Christine S. for the rerun run-through.

Wednesday
May292013

These Cakes Need A DOCTOR

Listen, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I know everything you're about to say. 

It's complicated. And kind of wibbly-wobbly.

Hey, you leave my mother out of this!

Now, look, we haven't got much time; the average internet-using adult's attention span lasts only... DUCK!!

  DON'T BLINK.

Then he'd win the staring contest.

 

Like I was saying, we don't have much... AAAAH WEEPING ANGEL!

Oh. Sorry, Sheila! Thought you were someone else. That's some really fetching pipe strapping and glitter tulle you've got there, though.

 

Anyway, guys, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. But it's up to you now.

So... what do you think of this cake?

I mean, it's clearly descending into a temporal rift. Or possibly the Swamps of Sadness. And I'm sure there's some kind of hidden meaning to "police = box." But more importantly: is it bigger on the inside, and if so, can I have a piece the size of a buffalo?

 

Or how about this one?

I've always thought the TARDIS could be a bit softer/squishier, so this groom's cake/ throw-rug is JUST the thing.

 

Brace yourself, for I sense there are dark times ahead for this next one.

Or maybe just for your bowels. 

HeheheheheEW.

 (You'd almost think the color of the photo was off, until you notice the top "light." Da heck?)

 

Anyway, like I said, it's up to YOU to rescue these cakes from a bunch of garden statuary playing Red Light Green Light. It's super easy, though. You just need some fish sticks, an extra bow tie, a Cthulhu mask with a Pokémon ball, a really, really long scarf, and ...

 

TOO LATE!

By The Bunny Baker

 

Thanks to Krista C., Rauha, Marielen, Valorie M., and Mairi R. for the time out. (And yes, that angel cake IS pretty dang awesome. And terrifying. But awesome. But terrifying.)