The Seven Stages of Wrecks

Remember, my friends: recognizing the stages is the first step to healing.

 

Shock or Disbelief:

"No, seriously. Where's the hidden camera?"

 

Denial:

"That CAN'T be my cake. I ordered a turtle."

 

Anger:

"This is what you call cake decorating?!"

 

"And I'm not paying for that one, either."

Bargaining:

 "Twenty four bucks, huh?

"I'll give you five."

Guilt:

"If ONLY I'd just learned to bake, my daughter wouldn't be in therapy for coulrophobia!"

Depression:

 "I just... I just wanted a nice cake for the party..."

Acceptance and Hope:

"It's fine. I've just got a dirty mind. Maybe no one else will notice."

Huge thanks to Jane R., Jodi T., Maria E., Edmund, Cheryl, Allegra R., Marissa C., and Alexis V.  I couldn't have gotten through this without you guys!

Clean-Up On Aisle 12

Note to Parents: Today's wreck may expand your child's vocabulary in some unsavory ways.

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When Steve S.'s coworker received a transfer to a different branch, the store decided to get the coworker a going-away cake. The inscription was your typical "You make our store better!" kind of thing.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, no matter how badly the Wreckerator mangles the inscription.

But then, normally the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale Club.

Which, naturally, someone chose to abbreviate:

Lunch time just got awkward.

I'd like to point out that Steve submitted this Wreck because "better" looks like "bitter," and he thought that was funnily appropriate. And it is, but clearly Steve's mind did not make the leap the rest of ours did. (Like I always say: Get your mind out of the gutter! There's barely room in here for mine.)