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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Do You See What I See (129)

Friday
Nov092012

Ways To Play It Safe

Today's post requires a special intro, so here's Dara G. to explain:

"My local [CENSORED*] bakery has this new policy - not strictly enforced, but kinda enforced - NO PHOTOS in the bakery department. None, nada. Per an ex-employee there, upper management is afraid that one of that store's specific cakes will be posted on 'that bad cake site.' Per what they tell you in the store, their cakes are 'all copyright protected.'"

(*Store name omitted. Because I care.)

She goes on to say:

"Apparently this new 'no photos' thing came about after y'all had posted their 'Popcorn' cakes on the site."

 

Oh, you mean these ones?

Now, I honestly didn't know all these popcorn cakes were even from this particular store-which-shall-remain-nameless, but it's nice to know folks over there are reading the site and recognizing their handiwork!

Anyway, Dara goes on to say that she was actually accosted by an employee citing "copyright protection" after Dara snapped a picture of this:

BEHOLD THE VISAGE OF A 'COPYRIGHT PROTECTED' PASTRY DESIGN.

 

The employee of this bakery-which-shall-not-be named even made Dara delete the photo off her phone, not knowing that Dara had actually taken TWO photos. (Sneaky girl...) 

Now, I have always been of the opinion that if you don't want your bakery's wrecks on Cake Wrecks, STOP MAKING WRECKS. But, hey, banning pictures is one way to go about it, too.

After all, if you ban photos in your bakery, then no one will ever know that your bakers made something like this:

Yes, that IS a plastic bunny tail where the mouth should be. A copyrighted bunny tail.

 

Or this:

As a joke, Katelyn's friends asked for her cake to read, "Katelyn's Failure Cake." Little did they know they'd get EXACTLY what they asked for.

 

Or even this:

If ONLY we had SOME way of knowing who is responsible for this glorious copyrighted cake design!

 

Of course, even if you do successfully bar people from photographing your wrecks in-store, there are still all those who'll just snap pics at home and then gleefully send them to me, with captions like, "Yummy piles of candy vomit!!"

In fact, here are two more sitting in the inbox right now, both from the same bakery I'm still not going to name, no matter HOW much you beg:

Jennifer J. writes, "Found this today, post-Halloween, at a [CENSORED] in Seattle, WA."

I've pointed out the unfortunate "I" placement on this design before, but this one is doubly unfortunate:

The fact that there's no period after the "P" might, shall we say, arouse suspicion as to the baker's true motives, don't you think?

 

And here's one that came in yesterday, where an election consolation cake got "owned:"

We have a winner! 

 

Of course this bakery isn't the only chain to ban photos; fact is, most stores now have similar rules. I hear from readers every week who are harassed, shooed away, and even outright kicked out of stores for whipping out their cellphones in the bakery.

Now, far be it from me to criticize rules (even ones I find really, REALLY stupid) but I don't see how harassing your own customers  - and ones who often buy your wrecks because Cake Wrecks has made them a world-wide inside joke - is good for business.

Then again, I also thought it would make more sense to train your bakers not to make wrecks instead of trying to prevent people from seeing them, so what do I know?

Oh, and while we're at it, I hear the bakery-which-shall-not-be-named doesn't make those popcorn cakes anymore, so kudos there, guys!

Now, about your spaghetti cakes...

 

Thanks to Dara, Gabriele, Lisa S., Chelsea M., Jennifer J., Bill, & Jessica A. for the picture perfect moments.

 

UPDATE: Dara G., our wreckporter on the scene, has recently contacted me to amend a few details in her story. She tells me the bakery employee was very polite in advising her of the photography ban, and while Dara did feel pressured to delete her photo, she was never actually ordered to. She also tells me the ex-employee who credits/blames CW for the photo ban doesn't know that for sure; it was just his/her personal theory. (Drat. Now I have to return that merit badge I just ordered for myself!)

Anyway, just wanted to include those corrections to be as accurate as possible!

Monday
Nov052012

Pan-Demonium

Today's post is a little different, and doesn't quite fit my standard definition of a wreck - but it's just too darn funny not to share. 

Today's post is also probably NSFW, and unless you want some really uncomfortable discussions with your children, NSFK, either.

So, assuming you're at home and have no kids around, YOU MAY PROCEED.

 *****

 

In the spirit of Pan-Tastic, we here at CW want you to get the most mileage out of your shaped cake pans. To that end, allow us to present....er, this:

 IT'S A LIGHTHOUSE.

Juuuuust a lighthouse.

 ("Be a beacon?!") 

(If you get that reference, I will personally award you one million geek points.)

 

And also this:

Old Macdonald had a farm.

 Which was clearly compensating for something.

 

Of course, your pan may be a slightly different model, so there's also this option:

Those pesky UFOs - always taking off to the right.

 

Or this:

I'm coocoo for COCONUTS!

(Coconuts. Seriously. THESE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES.)

 

By now I'm sure you're wondering where all these brilliant designs came from. Well, would you believe there's a whole website dedicated to finding alternative uses for that most distinctive of shaped cake pans? 'Cuz there is, and I think you'll agree that blogger/baker Holly is a veritable WIZARD at making me bust a gut laughing:

 You'll never hear a reference to Mr. Wizard the same way again.


And here's one final option, spotted at an actual baby shower:

There's something ironic about using this particular pan for a baby shower cake. Or is it appropriate? Ironically appropriate? Whatever. IT'S FUNNY.


My thanks to Thomas S., whoever it was that originally sent me the link to Holly's site, and the rest of you for not yelling at me in the comments about how these aren't professional or at ALL appropriate. I KNOW.

But to be fair, neither am I. ;)