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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Do You See What I See (131)

Thursday
Jan122017

Prepare for ALL the "Horny" Jokes

Have you seen these new unicorn cakes going around?

They're adorable and fairly simple to make, so of course they're hugely popular. And talk about a gift to bakers! All you need are a plain round cake, a few flowers, some eyes, ears, and a horn. Boom.
Done.

How do you mess that up?

I'll answer that question with another question:

Unicorn horns: do they really NEED a point?

Yes, yes they do.

FUN FACT: I looked up "Horny" in my thesaurus, and no lie, one of the synonyms is "hot to trot." I can't even make this stuff up.

Of course, some might argue Mister Sex Ed* there has a horn that looks more like a cigar, but that's a fallacy. ('Cuz that's a phallus, see?)

Ooh, I just realized this cake gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "horsing around." Heyooo.

And to something that rhymes with "thickhead." Heyoooooo.

So the next time you feel like betting on the ponies, minions, just make sure your baker gets a grip, and doesn't blow it.

[*COME ON THAT WAS GENIUS... to everyone over the age of 40.]

 

Thanks to Diane C. for the excuse to write the Mister Ed pun my soul has always yearned for.

*****

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Wednesday
Jan042017

Penal Code Violations

NOTE: These cakes may have been meant for children, but the commentary is not. Double entendres ahead!

 

Do you ever get the feeling that certain bakers are up to some...er...monkey business?

I think this monkey lacks a certain...appeal.

 

I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems like some of today's wreckerators are getting downright...

...nutty.

(I had two different readers send in two different pictures of this cookie cake, btw. See?)

There's something kind of awesome about having a pair of photos of a pair of...um...pink blobby things.

(Swinging plums? Low riders? Crown jewels? Man tonsils? Pant Potatoes? Scroto Baggins? Ok, internet, you've earned your keep tonight.)

Oh, and I *think* they were going for a heart. Maybe. And before you ask, no, the baker should not be sacked, because this is far too entertaining.

 

I'm sure some of you may think I'm being unfair. Well, not to worry, wreckerators; you'll get your day in court.

Just no dribbling, please.

 

There's a certain bakery chain (which shall continue to Remain Nameless) that has a rather curious carrot cake design. It looks like this:

You guys have sent me a bunch of examples, so I can assure you: this really is how the cake comes:

So my question is this: if we all sat around discussing the failings of this particular design, would that make it a circle jerk?

[Bah-dum-BAH!]

 

And while I'm being inquisitive, bakers, I've got to ask: do your wrecks ALWAYS have to look like dongs?

o.0

Ok, never mind.
Please bring the ding dongs back.

 

Thanks to Carrie C., Beth M., Rachael, Becca S., Nick D., Michelle W., & Richard for enabling me to make it four whole days into the new year before making a wiener joke. NEW RECORD!

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