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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Do You See What I See (86)

Friday
Mar012013

Completely Inappropriate First Birthday Cakes

I'm pretty sure most one-year-olds will never remember their first birthday cakes, which is why I'm here to provide an invaluable service: reminding little E.J. that her (yes, her) parents got her this:

Any guesses on what EJ will be getting for her 12th birthday?

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, parents, but I think age one is a little young for boys to be discovering their bananas, IF you know what I mean.

And if you don't, just look at this:

Don't worry, George, all monkeys get curious eventually.

 

Things I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Like:
- Cheerful colors
- Cute animals
- Putting things in their mouths
- Pooping

Thing I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Do NOT Like:
- Guys with guns
- Who are shooting cute animals

 

This next one isn't a first birthday cake; it's a christening cake. So little John was, what? A couple of days old maybe? Right. SOMEONE GET THAT KID A GUINNESS.

Honestly I don't know what all is happening here, or what in that mess is considered edible. And I think I spied a tiny plastic poodle in a Santa hat in front of that tree stump with a face before my brain broke.

(ACTUAL CONVERSATION I JUST HAD WITH JOHN:

John: [seeing cake] "What is THAT? Hahaha! He must be Irish, huh?"
Me: "What?! That is a terrible stereotype! How dare you!"
John: "There's a pot of gold and a shamrock."
Me: [looking] "Oh. Right. Ok, maybe they're Irish.")

 

"But you look good for your age, Levi. Really. And hey, one is the new six months! I read it in Vogue!"

 

Something here just doesn't add up.

 

And finally...

Please let his last name be Johnson. Please let his last name be Johnson. PleaselethislastnamebeJohnson.

 

Thanks to Anita T., Amy N., Jill B., Amber, D'arcy, Vinny A., & Melissa M. for the memorable first impressions.

Wednesday
Feb132013

My Naughty Valentine

NOTE: Mildly suggestive humor ahead - so get your kids to explain it if you have any trouble.

NOTE THE SECOND: I'M KIDDING. Clear the area of innocents!

***************

 

Valentines' day is a celebration of love, and of the people we love, and of the many acts of love that we all...

Oh, look, a ding-dong!

No, no, YOU rock MY world, baby. Mrowr.

 

I remember a psychology course back in college where they talked a lot about interpreting things like keys and swords and Owen Wilson' nose, but I have to confess I never thought much of it 'til I saw these:

 

 Think it's an Everlast?

 (No, I will never stop with the Men In Tights jokes. SORRY.)

 

Here's a tip: I'm pretty sure swords don't NEED that much of a point:

 

Or at least not one shaped like that, anyway.

 

And in case you're starting to feel like these cakes are all thrust and no parry:

 Donut worry: My lips are sealed.

 

I'm pretty sure you won't need Freud's help to spot this classic slip-up:

 Talk is cheap, dude. Lemme see your guitar.

 

You know the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince?" I only ask because reasons.

 

"Hey, bebeh, wanna go back to my pad? It's kind of chilly in here."

 (Not a word on the necklace. NOT A WORD.)

 

Of course, if you don't want to go for subtle, there's always the blatantly inappropriate approach:

 The longer you think about what demographic this cake was made for, the more uncomfortable it gets. (To say nothing of the fact that Barbie has no lower body, and her hair is getting in the icing. Ick.)

 

Well, whichever option you choose, I sincerely hope that you and your loved ones:

And hey, I mean that - from the bottom of my heart.


Thanks to Mindy B., Kelly G., Jeanne T., Jennifer R., Erica L., Dion H., Katie G., & Chris P. for putting the "wow" in "bow chikka WOW WOW."