My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Do You See What I See (138)


Are These Boobs? Do I Censor This? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

Minions, all I know about today's cake is that it was for a shower. I'm guessing a baby shower? Though I suppose it could have been for a bridal shower. Heck, this thing's weird enough it could have been for an actual wrap-up-your-hair-and-grab-the-back-loofah shower. I have no idea, is what I'm saying.

Also, can nipples be yellow? I only ask because I don't know if I should censor this thing or not. I mean, maybe those aren't nipples at all, maybe they're... [head tilt]... little sombreros. On cantaloupes. Being held in a purple neck sling thingie.

Which brings me to another issue: is the purple thing supposed to be a bra? Because news flash, baker: bras don't work like that. AT ALL.

Oh yeah, I guess I should show you all the cake, huh? You're probably asking, "Jen, are we there yet?" Which is funny, you asking it that way, because that brings me to the final weird bit:

...are we WHERE yet? Who's asking? What does that have to do with sombrero-wearing cantaloupes in a neck sling? How is any of this shower related? Is this real life? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??

[sits back down]
[pats hair into place]


Well, thanks, Cindy W., for leaving us with only questions. I look forward to everyone's myriad hypotheses - and sketches of sombrero-wearing cantaloupes - in the comments.


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Prepare for ALL the "Horny" Jokes

Have you seen these new unicorn cakes going around?

They're adorable and fairly simple to make, so of course they're hugely popular. And talk about a gift to bakers! All you need are a plain round cake, a few flowers, some eyes, ears, and a horn. Boom.

How do you mess that up?

I'll answer that question with another question:

Unicorn horns: do they really NEED a point?

Yes, yes they do.

FUN FACT: I looked up "Horny" in my thesaurus, and no lie, one of the synonyms is "hot to trot." I can't even make this stuff up.

Of course, some might argue Mister Sex Ed* there has a horn that looks more like a cigar, but that's a fallacy. ('Cuz that's a phallus, see?)

Ooh, I just realized this cake gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "horsing around." Heyooo.

And to something that rhymes with "thickhead." Heyoooooo.

So the next time you feel like betting on the ponies, minions, just make sure your baker gets a grip, and doesn't blow it.

[*COME ON THAT WAS GENIUS... to everyone over the age of 40.]


Thanks to Diane C. for the excuse to write the Mister Ed pun my soul has always yearned for.


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