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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (138)

Thursday
Oct302014

9 Hilariously Bizarre Halloween Cakes To Make You Go, "Huh?"

Bakeries get a lot of leeway this time of year, since Halloween is supposed to have ugly gross stuff:

 

But there's raspberry jam soaked zombie faces, and then there's... uh... this:

Took me a solid minute to figure it out:

A banana shooting laser beams.

(I am SO GOOD AT THIS, you guys.)

 

Yep, bakers are once again trying to collectively punk the world, churning out ridiculous Halloween designs each more baffling than the last:

Aliens? Amoebas?
This guy?

 

I actually see this design a lot:

The angry toilet paper has sprouted arms, and is pulling itself to freedom.

 

While this roll vows revenge on airbrushes everywhere:

"I am not 'pretty,' I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?"

 

Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident.
Because if THAT doesn't say "Happy Halloween"... then don't worry 'cuz the board does:

 

For some reason ghost sperm are always a big seller this time of year:

They look kinda confused, though, right?
Like they can't tell if they're coming or going.

[HEYO.]

 

Also confused? Me, after looking at this thing:

They managed to get icing absolutely everywhere except on top of the cupcakes.
Now that's scary.

 

And finally, a possessed stove burner:

Because haunted appliances are SO hot right now.

("It burns. IT BURRRRNS!")

 

There's a ghost of a chance Brittany D., Carrie, Ginny V., Karen S., Megan S., Karrie T., Jennifer K., Jennifer R., & Shannon T. will be ordering out tonight. You're welcome, ladies!

*****

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Wednesday
Oct152014

This Is Gonna Be GOOD: Happy Cake "Decorating" Day!

It's National Cake Decorating Day, bakers, so let's go over those basics again!

 

Remember, it all starts with a good foundation:

 

...and a smooth, even application of icing.

 

When it comes time to decorate, no need to get fancy!
Just stick with something simple, like a butterfly.

 

Or, uh, maybe something easier, like flowers.

>.<

 

Or... I dunno... balloons? Yeah. You can't screw up balloons.

Never mind.

 

And lastly, let's talk penmanship.

Just skip that for now. And always.

 

Tell you what, bakers, just cover the whole thing with an edible image, ok? PROBLEM SOLVED.

-.-

Step 1: Forcefully connect head to desk Step
2: Repeat

 

Thanks to Trasi K., Danika G., Heather E., Stephanie B., Kate H., Shannon S., & Andy W. for helping me test the structural integrity of my keyboard. With my face. Again.

*****

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