John tells me it's Bathtub Party Day, and John ALSO tells me this is the perfect opportunity to remind you of our second-ever censored Cake Wreck, posted several Internet ice ages ago back in 2008.
Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?
Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone.
And no, you CAN'T all split that little birthday cake; then who would eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land?
More importantly, who would peel off the towel and answer that one burning question in all our minds:
...which would be worse, eyes or no eyes?
(John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.)
What's that? You want another angle?
SAY NO MORE.
We established last time that "Uprise" is either a really bad attempt at "surprise," the reaction your lunch has to seeing this cake (Hamilton Time: RISE UP!), or possibly the name of the birthing center where this was served. Personally I'm rooting for reason #2.
I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E, so thanks for that, ladies. I think it's safe to say none of us will ever bathe with our birthday cakes the same way ever again.
SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT:
Q: You know what the best part of a life-sized nekkid lady cake is?
A: The leftovers.
Note from john (thoJ): By popular request, here's a link to the uncensored picture.