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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (172)

Monday
Mar192018

Window Pains

So, you're opening a bakery. You've watched too much Cake Boss, opened a few dozen credit card accounts, and "sampled" enough cupcakes to confidently differentiate between "ganache" and "monkey poo."

What next?

The window display, of course!

This is your place to shine, aspiring baker! Show the people what you can really do!

 

Ah.

 

I see you're of the "writing on Styrofoam rounds with a Sharpie" skill set.

We can work with that.

After all, the most important thing is getting customers through the door - even if it is only to ask, "Dear God, what IS that THING?!"

It's a pacifier. You know, a cake for suckers?

 

Now, a good window display should appeal to both kids and kids at heart. Remember, cakes are all about fun! And color! And post-apocalyptic death tableaus!

Just think of all the gas-mask party favors you could make. Ooh, and festive radioactive warning streamers! Glowing fruit punch? Mushroom cloud side-cakes? Really, the possibilities are endless.

 

Or, if you're limited on space, you could always kill two birds with one horrendously disturbing Barbie cake:

Hey, how do you think Barbie paid for all those different careers, kids?

 

 

Well, bakers, however you choose to design your displays, just be sure they communicate friendliness, poise, and professionalism.

And also a strong grasp on the spelling of "ho bag":

 

Because, really, nothing is worse than a misspelled "ho bag" on your cookie cake.

 

Thanks to Amber P., Bianca S., Lauren C., Lauren R., Betsy R., & Dana F., who wonder if perhaps this showed up on C.M.'s performance review.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:


Monday
Mar122018

Why You Don't Raid Other People's Refrigerators

[opening fridge] "Hey Sarah, you got any bee...AAAAUUGGHHH!!!!"

 

For those of you who would otherwise insist on knowing the whys and wherefores of this photo, here's what submitter Sarah M. had to say for herself (yes, she's the baker):

Subject: I swear I do get paid for making cakes

"The attached however was for a friend's surprise birthday party at a Chinese restaurant and since the birthday girl was born in the year of the rat, well I thought a giant rat cake would be appropriate."

Good thinking. Rats as a whole get far too little face time in the world of cakes.

"However my air conditioning failed halfway through the process and the butter cream icing began to destabilize and well all I could save was the head with the light up eyes."

Yep, see that tin foil "tail"? It's electric!

"The recipient of the cake claimed to my face it was the best d**n thing she had ever received.

- Sarah (I have more talent than this) M."

Sarah, I think I speak for everyone here when I say: you really need to buy better beer. Is that Miller Lite I spy in the door? Tsk, tsk. Oh, and also: we should all be so lucky to have friends make us electrified rodent heads for our birthday celebrations. Right, guys?

And from my other blog, Epbot:

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.