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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (173)

Tuesday
Mar202018

Be Our Guest

Cakes so full of grime

 

Possibly diseased

 

Oozing from both ends!

These could kill your friends...

Unexpectedly.


Just a little mange

 

Y'all come for the feast!

 

What’s that over there?

Dirty underwear?

Who would pay for these?

 

Everyone’s the same

Spongebob in disguuuuise!

 

We should tell the store

Sometimes less is more

Those cows hurt MY EYES.

 

These cakes are a crime

 

Misery prolonged

*

Sticky, green and strange!

Makes you feel deranged

These are just so wrong.

 

Certainly this one

Has infected yeast

 

Festering, with slime

These cakes are a crime

Who would pay for these?


Festering, with slime

These cakes are a crime

Who would pay.... for theeese?

 

(Off to the Dumpster with you now, cakes. It’s past your sell time.)

 

Thanks to Chloe, Louise F., Megan P., Anony M., Eric P., Pete & Erika , Anna S., Tiffany S., Ashlee M., Joanna B., Hannah C., Chani, & Mona S., who recommend skipping the gray stuff this time.

 

*Made by the awesome Jennifer Lewis of The Connoisseurs. Check out the making of here.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:


Monday
Mar192018

Window Pains

So, you're opening a bakery. You've watched too much Cake Boss, opened a few dozen credit card accounts, and "sampled" enough cupcakes to confidently differentiate between "ganache" and "monkey poo."

What next?

The window display, of course!

This is your place to shine, aspiring baker! Show the people what you can really do!

 

Ah.

 

I see you're of the "writing on Styrofoam rounds with a Sharpie" skill set.

We can work with that.

After all, the most important thing is getting customers through the door - even if it is only to ask, "Dear God, what IS that THING?!"

It's a pacifier. You know, a cake for suckers?

 

Now, a good window display should appeal to both kids and kids at heart. Remember, cakes are all about fun! And color! And post-apocalyptic death tableaus!

Just think of all the gas-mask party favors you could make. Ooh, and festive radioactive warning streamers! Glowing fruit punch? Mushroom cloud side-cakes? Really, the possibilities are endless.

 

Or, if you're limited on space, you could always kill two birds with one horrendously disturbing Barbie cake:

Hey, how do you think Barbie paid for all those different careers, kids?

 

 

Well, bakers, however you choose to design your displays, just be sure they communicate friendliness, poise, and professionalism.

And also a strong grasp on the spelling of "ho bag":

 

Because, really, nothing is worse than a misspelled "ho bag" on your cookie cake.

 

Thanks to Amber P., Bianca S., Lauren C., Lauren R., Betsy R., & Dana F., who wonder if perhaps this showed up on C.M.'s performance review.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: