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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (137)

Wednesday
Aug272014

Merci!

Have you heard of the Croquembouche [CROCK-you-EAM-butchy]? It's a French thing.

Well, if not, here's what it's supposed to look like:

So kinda like old, cobweb-wrapped monkey bread. But in a yummy way.

 

Well, a certain anonymous person - who shall remain unnamed to protect her anonymity - found this gem at a wedding which she may or may not have anonymously attended:

I believe her exact words were, "it looks like some kind of primitive jungle cake being attacked by a swarm of lactating spider-wasps."

Mmmm, lactating spider-wasps...

Well, uh, Jane D. [wink wink], thanks for putting a new spin on these things.

 

Note: I think it's important to ask yourself a couple of questions before commenting here on Cake Wrecks:
Question: Did Jen and john really intend to give us the pronunciation of a word?
Answer: No.
Question: Are Jen and john complete and total idiots?
Answer: No.
Question: Do they...
Answer: No.
Question: Would they...
Answer: No.
Question: What about...
Answer: No.
That is all.

 

*****

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Friday
Aug222014

Friday Favs 8/22/14

Anyone remember the CW classic, "It a Gril"?

(Ahh, good times.)

'Cuz now we have version 2.0!

Like most upgrade's, it fi'xed one prob'lem while creati'ng a whole n'ew one.

 

Two things on this next one:

1) Apparently there's a "Hawaiian Shirt Day"
2) I've never been so disappointed to see someone spell "shirt" right

(Right? RIGHT???)

 

Of course we've established - many, MANY times - that bakers can't seem to stop making chocolate icing look like poop.

However, I found the one exception!

It's when you ask a baker to actually TRY to make icing look like poop:

Like an ice cream swirl on a balloon string.

The mind, it boggles.

 

When this mom requested a Minnie Mouse cake for her daughter's birthday, I *think* the baker tried for a simple 3-circle Mickey logo, like this:

But instead, it came out like this:

In the baker's defense, if you squint a little this actually looks a LOT...

...like a consternated Kermit-the-Frog.

So, you know, SO CLOSE.

(Seriously, once you see it... it's all you see.)

 

So which is worse, guys: that bakers are already making globby Thanksgiving turkeys in August...

Or that there are only TWO CUPCAKES under that giblet-blasting load of icing?

(It doesn't have to make sense, ok? "Giblet-blasting" just sounds cool.)

Or, Bonus Option C: that enough people are buying these things to keep bakers making them. C'mon, people: TOUGH LOVE. Quit enabling the wreckerators!

 

And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note:

Let's hope the previous 49 Raymonds weren't so... [deep breaths, Jen, DEEP BREATHS] ...um, shiny?
[hurk!]

 

Thanks to Jamie C., Stacy F., Alyssa N., Anony M., Briana O., and Linda L. for forcing me to realize how eerily similar the globby turkey and shiny man chest are. WHERE'S THE "UNSEE" BUTTON ON THIS THING?

*****

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