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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (167)

Monday
Jan012018

The Cake Wrecks Hangover Cure

 

[lowering lights]

 

[tiptoeing closer]

[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?

Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....

 

Oh.

 

Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?

Hm?

OH, right! Sorry, sorry!

Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]


How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!

 

Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.

Quick, take a look at this:

 

I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?

 

Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.

Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.

No, really, I mean it.

You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.

Or any condition, for that matter.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.

Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.

You're still scrolling.

What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?

I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.

Well...

Ok.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Last chance to scroll back!

Aaaand...

Prepare to squirm:

 


[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!

 

Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.

*****

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Friday
Dec152017

Mmmm, Crunchy!

Hey, kids! Do you know what tomorrow is?!

It's Chocolate Covered Anything Day!

[Kermit flail]

YAAAAAAAY!

 

Yep, today is the day when you can take anything and everything and cover it in CHOCOLATE!!!

And you thought chocolate-covered bacon was awesome.

 

Caught a fish on your camping trip?

Cover it in chocolate!

 

Wolf Spider crawling on you in the middle of the night?

COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE.

 

There's literally no end to the things you can cover in chocolate!

Right, guys?

Ew.

Um...

Hang on.

Dipped or sculpted?

[grabbing baker by lapels]

DIPPED OR SCULPTED?!

 

Well, whichever it is, you're going to larva this one:

*hurk*

 Okay, seriously. Japan? We need to talk.

[putting arm around Japan]

Look, I get it. You're fun! You're kooky! Hello Kitty and tentacles and all that. But chocolate covered beetles? Really? Is that even a thing?

It is?

*sigh*

Well, could you at least make them a little less creepy?

Apparently not.

 

Thanks to Kristina M., Cattie P., Jessica C., Amy M., & D.L., who will never look at that chocolate fountain in Golden Corral the same way again.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.