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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (172)

Friday
Jan192018

Freaky Friday

Today we've got TWO unusual holidays to celebrate - so that means twice the cakey goodness, haha! John even did the research and put together a little slideshow for us, so let's get right to it. What've we got first, John?

Oh.

Um... well... ohhh kaaaay.

[deep breath]

Happy International Fetish Day, everyone!

[pause]

 

John, why did you put a... is that a banana? Ok, a banana. Why did you ... I mean, what kind of fetish...

You know what, let's just move on.

Wow, looks like George really IS curious.
(You cheeky lil' monkey, you!)

 

I have to say, John, you've really managed to find some fun cakes for International Fetish Day.
Nothing scary here at all!

AAAUUUGGHH!!

***

[climbing back into chair]

Not that... Not that there's anything WRONG with a... clown... fetish. Clowns are wonderful characters. Very colorful. Very, er... squeaky.

NEXT!

Thank you, John, but I'm not sure everyone really needs to know the plastic dinosaur is spring action.

 

Huh. Yeah, I guess I could see this one.

 

NO.
Just... NO.

(I don't care how much research you did, John, this is not cool.)

 

Listen, John, wasn't there another holiday today, too? Can't we just skip ahead to that one?

Ah.

Well, I guess we should have seen that coming.

Happy Judgement Day, everyone!

 

Thanks to Alexandra S., Julia W., Heather A., Jed C., Farhee, Theresa S., & Nathan M. And yes, it really is both International Fetish Day and Judgement Day - just not THE Judgement Day. I hope.

So... cake?

*****

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Monday
Jan012018

The Cake Wrecks Hangover Cure

 

[lowering lights]

 

[tiptoeing closer]

[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?

Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....

 

Oh.

 

Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?

Hm?

OH, right! Sorry, sorry!

Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]


How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!

 

Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.

Quick, take a look at this:

 

I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?

 

Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.

Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.

No, really, I mean it.

You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.

Or any condition, for that matter.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.

Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.

You're still scrolling.

What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?

I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.

Well...

Ok.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Last chance to scroll back!

Aaaand...

Prepare to squirm:

 


[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!

 

Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.

*****

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