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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (163)

Thursday
Dec152016

Cupcake Day's Race To The Bottom

After you see enough cake wrecks, you can start to get the impression that individual cupcakes are a safe bet.

OH CONTRAIRE MONTRAIRE.

(I think some of those might be words. WHAT.)

 

Behold!

The ghosts of cupcakes past! And a random pile of poo!

 

And behold!

The song "Run, Run, Rudolph" just got real, y'all.

 

Keep beholding!

I don't know what these are, but, ew.

 

And I DO know what these are:

...but, ew.

(Think they're cigarette flavored? [hurk!])

But all of that pales in comparison to the cupcakes that turn every frown completely around - so it's still a frown:

The cupcakes that make accidental nipples seem downright family friendly:

 

The cupcakes, my friends... that I hear taste like a$$:

o.0

[crickets]
This brings to mind a song, dear minions. May I?

All together, now!

Thanks to Alice S., Bethany P., Matthew S., Sarah R., Heather W., Chris H., & Eric W. for helping us get to the bottom of all cupcake wreckage.

*****

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Monday
Dec052016

Ain't No Party Like A Cake Wrecks Woman-Giving-Birth-In-A-Bathtub Par-TAY

John tells me it's Bathtub Party Day, and John ALSO tells me this is the perfect opportunity to remind you of our second-ever censored Cake Wreck, posted several Internet ice ages ago back in 2008.

SO...

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone.

And no, you CAN'T all split that little birthday cake; then who would eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land?

More importantly, who would peel off the towel and answer that one burning question in all our minds:

...which would be worse, eyes or no eyes?

(John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.)

 

What's that? You want another angle?

SAY NO MORE.

We established last time that "Uprise" is either a really bad attempt at "surprise," the reaction your lunch has to seeing this cake (Hamilton Time: RISE UP!), or possibly the name of the birthing center where this was served. Personally I'm rooting for reason #2.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E, so thanks for that, ladies. I think it's safe to say none of us will ever bathe with our birthday cakes the same way ever again.

 

SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT:

Q: You know what the best part of a life-sized nekkid lady cake is?

A: The leftovers.

 

Note from john (thoJ): By popular request, here's a link to the uncensored picture.

*****

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