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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (172)

Monday
Jan172011

Easy, Cheesy, "Beautiful"

Bakers, are you running low on flotsam? Is your curling ribbon on back order? Are you fresh out of teddy bears?

Well, never fear! There are plenty of handy flotsam stand-ins lying around even the most basic of kitchens to save you from actually decorating any of your cakes! Just check out these double-duty doers:

- Styrofoam cups

[Image removed at baker's request. Check back sooner next time. ;)]

Add a few fake flowers snatched off your break room centerpiece, and voila! Instant flower vase!

- The Dollar Store's Clearance Bin

Granted, you'll have to pop next door to Duffy's Dollar Doo-Dad Depot, but the options there are virtually limitless:


And you thought you'd have to learn how to pipe roses. [shaking head] Tsk, tsk.

Or, if your budget is tight, just raid

- your kid's toy chest:


The good news is this isn't ridiculous AT ALL.


'Course, if you want something edible, (spoilsport) you could always go with

- ice cream cones:

Just be sure to fill them completely with icing. Remember: any bite of chocolate chip cookie without a mouthful of frosting is a bite wasted!

Or, for those extra special occasions,

- a dog bone:

Yeah. Chew on that, birthday boy.

Or, "impending-hip-surgery-boy," as the case may be.


Thanks to Laura, Mrs. McCutie, Erica D., Lisa, Sarah G., and Seth F., who all have a bone to pick with these wreckerators. Preferably one in chocolate.

Monday
Jan032011

The Cake Wrecks Hangover Cure

[lowering lights]

[tiptoeing closer]

[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?

Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....


Oh.

Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?

Hm?

OH, right! Sorry, sorry!

Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]


How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!

Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.

Quick, take a look at this:


I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?

Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.

Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.

No, really, I mean it.

You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.

Or any condition, for that matter.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.

Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.

You're still scrolling.

What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?

I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.

Well...

Ok.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Last chance to scroll back!

Aaaand...

Prepare to squirm:



[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!

Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.