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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Guess What (25)

Thursday
Jan162014

What The Frosting?

No, no, don't tell me, bakers.

Lemme see if I can guess:

Suffocating snowman?

 

Two-tentacled jellyfish?

 

Twin highways beside a poppy field?

 

Dancing lampshade?

 

Worm wearing a turtle shell?
(Hero in a half shell: EARTHWORM POWER.)

 

Running Cupcake Man?

Oh! Or McDonald's Fry Guy?

 

Elmo in a teal turtleneck doing the hula dance with his mouth wide open?

(Admit it: you see it, too.)

 

**SIGH**

Look, bakers, I don't...

 

I mean, I just can't...

[blinking]

 

Er...

That's it.

 

I GIVE UP.

 

Hat tip to Erica, Hollie, Julie B., Emily G., Daemon S., Kerensa J., Rhonda M., & Jullian G., who says she can't wait to scarf one of these down. Heh.

[eyes widening]

Hey, waaaaait a minute...

*****

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Thursday
Aug152013

Don't Do Drugs, Kids. Seriously.

So there's a brand new cake design in town, and it's, well...

... confusing.

 

At first I thought it was just some leftover Batman flotsam running wild amongst the New Year's party hats.

 

Then I thought maybe the "party hats" were supposed to be some kind of psychedelic twin sunsets.

 

Then I gave up.

 

You guys kept sending these things in, though, demanding answers - or at least a healthy dose of mockery - which eventually led me to realize that most of you were taking your pictures upside down.

That's when things REALLY started coming together:

See? Now it's so obvious! They're mustachioed garden gnomes in straight jackets! DUH.

Just kidding.

According to my sources, they're actually ice cream cones. Wearing mustaches.

Here's the best example I could find:

(Go ahead, scroll back up and look at those other cakes again. I'll wait.)

[whistling]

(Back with me? Awesome.)

So, in conclusion: Kids, don't do drugs. And kids, don't do drugs and then try to market to hipsters. Seriously. Besides, this whole mustache thing is SO last week, amirite? So you can quit insulting our intelligence, corporate bakery people, and just take your silly little plastic mustaches and twee sense of cuteness and just... just...

[blink blink]

Forget what I just said.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

 

Thanks to Lorah W., Melinda M., Megan R., Kimberly S., Emily F., Colleen K., & Angie C., who know puns make everything better. Even hipster mustaches.