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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Guess What (28)

Tuesday
Jun102014

9 Bakers Who Have Never Seen A Guitar In Their Entire Lives

For those about to wreck: we "salute" you.

 

Mmmm. Beany.

 

"Back in MY day, sonny-boy, guitars were made of cigar boxes and cat intestines, and gosh darn it, WE LIKED IT."

 

I'm seeing a chainsaw shaped like a corn on the cob.
Just me, or should we all quit drinking now?

 

"Darling, this guitar is like my love for you: NO STRINGS ATTACHED."

"D'awwww!
But seriously why are there no strings."

 

Maybe if we add a little miniature plastic guitar ON the cake as a guide...

NOPE.

 

In fact, when presented with guitar cupcake toppers, one baker panicked:

"AAAUGGH! Which way is up? WHICH WAY IS UP?!"

 

Taxidermied Big Bird as an Upright Bass:

Actually, I kind of like this one.

 

I bet you never wanted to equate a guitar with a flabby guy's pectoral muscles, did you.

WELL TOUGH:

 

And finally, I believe this kid from One Direction has cause to fret:

Get it? "CAUSE TO FRET"?! BAHAHAHAAA!

Because seriously that looks like a dong.

 

Thanks to Stephanie, Keli C., Shelley S., Cherisse B., Andrew W., Kathryn C., Rocke, Katie F., & Jared G. for knowing better than to pick on a guitar with blue balls.

*****

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Wednesday
Jun042014

New Discoveries in the Animal Kingdom

I believe that all new scientific discoveries should be announced via cake, don't you?

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.

 

[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

 

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

 

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

 

And finally, we have...

The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

 

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

*****

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